Thursday, April 15, 2010

and this is how it works!

Just a word (will take more liberty than that) about some of my key natures, that I've only just understood. I start to cry every now and then. And just for a quick background, I'm not one to cry easily. I cry when I'm stuck for subsequent traffic signal cycles (On the same bally signal). I cry when my auto-rickshaw takes me on the wrong lane, and we get marginalized by both scales of vehicles- Trucks and cycles alike. I cry when the rickshaw breaks down without preamble. Sometimes when the fast train has just gone past me, despite my desperate running for it. When the nearby BEST bus issues black smoke and mounds of cough collect in my pharynx. Very few times when we take a route, get stuck in a jam, take a longer detour, backwards where we came from, and get stuck yet again. And face exactly what we'd attempted so hard to avoid, etc. Imagine I'd be sobbing when 2 or more of these happen one after the other.

But that's not key. What is key is that one of the important ways of remedying that is by cutting vegetables and cooking something great sounding. (Of course, notwithstanding how it turns out).

I believe that what is even more key is that I hardly do anything concrete to permanently REMOVE this traffic in my life. I think the way this crying business works is that it rinses and purges you in ways that makes you more content and procrastinating, till I'm in for the torment again. Of course my ability to keep taking it and going on doesn't help or helps. Wonder when things actually do come to the end of a tether? Or is it fictional? Or I lack the faculty to feel it? Or is it that things will never really become as bad as to not be able to become worse. Or is it just a bad day?

Later (On a better one)

2 comments:

cynduja said...

I totally get what you are going through...I have been through the exact same thing...the running for trains, the never ending traffic jams, waiting for 3 continuous traffic signals at just one junction et al...and trust me if you can just decide one fine morning to change things, you can change them for good...and life is better. The stance to take is to decide firmly

Anubha said...

suruchi..
idiot..

isint this the life you chose for yourself.. the life of heat and travel to work, the work itself and then all the way back!

Stop thinking only about urself, maybe the cycles and the truck have the same problem with you.. you are in their way too!

take a break.. come to the forests with me.. and lets do some wildlife counting.. :P
anubha