long time again!

it's been such a long time that i may as well have forgotten how to write. i'll try nevertheless. i'm back at home for starters and i'm doing the self-same things i do here, ever so regularly. sleeping till slightly late, having the long-drawn conversations with 'the parents', but ablutions and bathing every day but i'm not complaining so much because i do them quite unwittingly.

Before I tell about the last 10 days or something, i will tell that as of now, i'm loving tennis. yesterday also, after dinner, despite mum's repeated no-no-no's me and debo went and played tennis in the club. But it was a mud court against cement, which gives better bounce to the ball, i think. But I also changed my racquet, so it took me a while to get used to that also. But it was very very satisfying. Debo like always was acting smart (The other day, he told me that even if he's at his ugliest best, mum n dad would've been prouder having him than I). He played really well. I wonder if it is his talent or my lack of it that makes him emerge better. Anyhow, the thing with him is that, he plays a lot of sports and if that's the threshold of a decent sports-man, he's just that much shorter in all of them, thereby not making it to any sport swimmingly.
But ya, this other couple of players came along and asked us if we wanted to play doubles with them and we acquiesced obviously. For the first time I played a match, and it was revealing I tell you.

Anyhow, that's that about tennis. Today's i'm leaving for rajasthan all over again. This time with my family and the extended one. I hope to have lottttss of fun, and Zoo will be missed :D If however, anyone wants anything from Jaipur, let know. It's going to be a bit of an unorganized and fun trip i feel because our tickets are not confirmed and we're giving it a shot anyway. This will be a test for mumma's patience. She's cribbed ample about it anyway. But she's usually like that when we're leaving for some place. She will keep working and working and then she will keep complaining about our not doing anything. She delegates also very badly. Like I peel potatoes while she cooks them. Like she's simon and i'm garfunkel :( It's just that I've heard simon sing alone and not garfunkel and also i think i heard it in a film. Or might it be because my dad perhaps prompted my mum to buy some Satyam shares, which obviously she's vastly disgusted about, what with the fiasco Ramalinga Raju has put his company in. Why Why I ask did he have to do this to Satyam. Like corporate really needed this because otherwise it was shining and thriving right??

Anyway, all of last week, we worked on Account Planning workshop with O & M on Tata Sky. Such a horrible account I must say. How will people feel about it if it's gone?? Not badly sure. It's not like it's a nail/mole that you'd hate to part with. Anyhow, this business of positioning is very cryptic. I wonder, if people must feel close to brands had it not been for marketing! Anyhow, working with disparate individuals, who may have wished to swap groups if that were possible was worth undergoing. It just told reams about how it can be sooo difficult to work in teams even in real organizations. Even so, in all the psychometric tests that we're asked to take for companies, working in teams is an imperative they invariable test. I dont know if I must answer correctly or correctly. Because I perform perhaps better when I'm alone but I'm still a team player and maybe it's the former that they'd deem more appropriate to recruit.

Then again, there are other things. Year's coming to an end. A new one is going to begin. My resolution is to start playing tennis matches :D Maybe it's time for me to start thinking about atp, no no not wta yet :d I will read more like always. I mean, like I always resolve. And Im going to be placed, yes I'd better be placed. And if that happens, I resolve to work very hard.

Then I'm extremely glad that this last leap year happened or I would've missed a lot. If I dont write this year, I'll write next year ofcourse but i'd probably toggle back and think about the last year and write about it maybe. (In any case, making public promises makes you commit a little more to the cause maybe.)

But this or that, I'm thankful for the good things and extremely grateful for all the lovely things and peoples and times and songs and dances and hang-overs and meditations and promises and their fulfilments. I'm hopeful that the not-so-lovely ones can teach me a lesson. I'm indeed glad for the journey with both this and that :)

Later

of some more of the same things!

it's been a long time since I wrote. I think i'm forgetting how to write but that can't be because there is no such thing, that would be like forgetting to think and experience and see and observe and all of that.
anyway this past week has been good fun. i've had different kind of classes in modelling and analytics and in some market research.
there was a weekend, which I spent outside of the campus with the Kazirangan school friend and his friend, both of whom kept me interesting company over the weekend. In my mind, I would think about a lot of things that they would say and do and I thought some of them were very amusing. But I got to eat some nice Gujju and sweet food, especially made at home. I got to see how Gujarati sounds properly. I mean after having spent a lot of time in Ahmedabad also, there is little exposure we've had to Gujarati culture.
Anyhow, I saw Transporter 3, which was stylish and good-looking and really really fancy. I mean the violence also seemed less painful maybe. And driving and hitting suddenly delight me I think. I also saw Dil Kabaddi and I don't know whether to like it or dislike it. I mean there were times in the film when I liked it a lot and there were others when I hated it. Overall I think the sex comedy was good fun, one could laugh at it, laugh with it and scorn at it. Plural reactions and feelings it evoked in a matter of 2 hours. But I love the actors. There is no Abhishekness or Priyankaness in them. They are just brutally next-door and pretty in that sense. I mean I like it when I see people repeat clothes in films, keep their hair slightly tousled and not ironed all the time. I like it when lips look black, eyes look less kohly and when some pimples and some wrinkles and some fat show. I think that's very sexy.

Anyway, so we had a big report and presentation to make, which were both done at the nick of time. We worked in a fairly haphazard way with other group members. It was slipshoddy and I think more than anything else, it turned out to be a collection of disconnected thoughts thus leading to no cohesiveness. But these days that's how working on assignments with group members has become. Not like work, where more often than not we would find seniors and juniors who will make us go round their little fingers and who will go round our little fingers, respectively, everyone in college is at the same level. So group exercises have lately been split into many individual parts, where only the person who does that small bit becomes responsible for that part. Eventually, who would be responsible for the final part also becomes a matter of great concern and contention. Infact, work suffers immensely because no one feels it's their baby. Anyway, I like brainstorming and I like debating over issues, discussing things over and all that, but I don't think it happens anymore. Not in token, unreal assignments in college.

Anyway, I've dabbled with many sports lately. I was on tennis, but since PK has gone, I've played Badminton, in which I continue to s**k. I've also played table-tennis in which I continue to lose track of the ball. But anyhow, one day suddenly I think, I will show phenomenal improvement when everyone will look at my game with wonder and awe and admiration. But till such time, I will continue to dabble.

We've also gotten a good amount of shock from the placements committee. I may not be passing out with a job in my hand, what with the stupid meltdown, which had to and absolutely had to intervene and conspire against innocent children like me (sob..sob) and I think, there are shocks that I've still not been able to absorb properly, therefore I send my expressions-of-interest for any company coming to the campus, much later than the deadline is over. But I also don't forget to apologize to the committee. But then I dont know how to do this. To hedge my risk, I may have to sit for all companies that come to the campus, but if I do this, I may miss out on the righer and the more preferred companies since we will be out of the process at the first event of any company showing any interest in any candidate, in essence obliterating every company and every single candidate on the same level. Look what the world has come to (sob sob again)

O, lately I have been very fascinated with pictures. I love to look and appreciate them a lot. Lately also, Ive come across better photographers and cameras and subjects I think. But whatever it is, it's great to look at pictures and look at them again and again. Infact, I have this very very interesting picture on my desktop, with a baby held so close that he can probably hear the heartbeat :D, and it doesnt stop to fascinate me. When it does, it will be removed from my desktop and stored with good care in the archives. I think, it's also got to do with babies. I mean, there is something very telling about pictures with babies and how they are held or looked at. I mean, Freud might have something to say on it, on why such pictures inspire a lot of admiration.

Anyhow, I have to go and watch 'Shwas', an interesting Marathi film. So while I catch up with it, let everyone else sleep and dream really well!

Later

Nike's global optimization strategy

We have a massive International Marketing assignment on 'Using consumer Intelligence to create global brands' and we're using Nike's case study.
It's quite interesting and I'm reading this book called 'A new brand world', gifted by Zoo and written by Scott Bedbury, the man who worked for athletic shoes as well as caffeine (read Nike and Starbucks), which by the way are both so interesting and important parts of contemporary cultural vernacular.
Anyhow, I came back to Indore from a very homey MICAmpaign there. Home was brilliant as usual. I fought with mummy over stepping on the wet floor after mopping and over getting proper tickets booked and taking the print-outs on time with my dad and over everything else with my brother. And I also freaked out when my tickets were not done. But as a result I am educated far more in e-ticket booking rules and about how easily my eyes well up sometimes.

Anyhow, we played tennis again after a longish sabbatical. After the first few knocks, our rust also gave way to more freeflowing action :) PK played with her new racquet and I with my new shoes. But they totally bit and bit and now my toe pinkie is a splinters. :( but I will get used to my shoes while they take the shape of my feet, which i'm told are gigantic.

Till I'm able to finish this case on Nike and reading this book, I hope to not call it a night.

Later

what about enough is enough?

Continued from last maybe....

I've also realized that I have a very striking bald patch, which in some days will become a balder patch, if not tended to. I'm really conscious about it and i'm on 'operation do-something'. So Nerdy has agreed to become my therapist, who'd better do a good job of it or she be fired.

Ofcourse problems become big and small from time to time. For eg. in front of what happened today, in front of the devastation of Bombay, anything else looks litte. So ya, the terrorists did manage to run their assignment to perfection.
They came, they saw and they ravaged. And they killed and killed. It was war and unpleasantness in their truest sense. It was a lot of naked, virulent terror and in places where only a month ago, I was gallivanting and admiring it's sheer brilliance. So clearly, it must affect the victims, the perpetrators and the spectators. It is quite disrupting and not limited to Mumbai. For eg. Back in Indore, my parents have disrupted their lives, upsetting their peace completely because Zoo stays in Mumbai, with whom they keep confronting about how often and for how long to stay outside home these days.
One would think, it's the two biggest hotels of the country, almost symbols of Mumbai's cosmopolitanness. Big places. But that perhaps could be solved with just a better security culture in the country. For some time, some of us are going to feel impatient about the systems that we might have to be put through, but how long could it take to get used to. But no, one can't say anything about anything these days. What would an unassuming family waiting patiently in the waiting room of VT station know or predict or about the modest Nariman house?

How does one forecast terror? But more importantly how does one manage it or better still, how does one fight it?
By depoliticizing it, we may be able to reach somewhere sure. By beefing our terror laws also, we may be able to reach somewhere too. But there comes our famous hypocracy or should I say, binary opposition (thinking). For every man, who wants to shoot the terrorist down, there's another, human right activist who thinks maybe it'd be too inhuman or maybe I don't get it. But again, there's got to be something to arrest such tedious episodes and embarrassments to our country. There are other oppositions. And then there are GDP growth rates, foreign capital, destitution also in our country, with an added issue of terrorism, maybe garbed also in some religious and linguistic sentiments. But anyway, it's all very disillusioning. For an average youth like us, which may not find worthy-enough leaders to follow, it is important to be more cautious in life I think for our own sake.

Even as I write this, I wonder what all these reporters and news-readers would do. It's their bread and butter to brave it out and forego their longed-for sleeps and rest their tired bodies and minds. I also wonder, what must the brave policemen and NSGuards be thinking. Forget about resting and sleeping, do they think of quitting when they go back from work? Ofcourse the dead terrorists must not get a life to do anything or think anything.

But anyway, they say Mumbai has a soul and it will spring back in no time. But then, any other city also would spring back, in its own time ofcourse. But it'd be much less tiring if such interruptions wouldnt happen altogether.

I also like 'Welcome' film a little better. I do not think an average Indian, deserves the insecurities he is made to suffer. Even if, bad democracy has to be fought with bad democracy, it's worth it, once and for all.

We have just followed news and more news today.
The repurcussions are going to be many and long-term affecting trade, sports and everything in between war and peace.
i hope ashok kamte, vijay salaskar and hemant karkare and a whole lot of army men rest in peace because we lost some of the most competent policemen who led from the front.

This whole business of taking lives and ruining many others by the b******s is condemned not only in India but everywhere else, and rightly so. I fail to understand how dastardly these militants can be and how dyslexic would they have to be to not know what a dead-end this war is. Maybe they should make more love and more music and more chocolates and more peace and more babies and more art to really know, ofcourse for their own sake, that life is pretty if you can make it that.

Later

long time!

Its been a very very long time since I last wrote and now there are just so many things to write.
Yesterday, Peeks woke, giving me 15 minutes only to give me another 15 minutes exactly 1 hour later to prepare myself for tennis, which I did and then got almost singed in the wintery sun. But then all this delay was also because everyone had his and her own reason. Peeks for example is going to be a little different now. Hers is a new chapter four months away from passing out.

Now i'd also like to bring to your notice how sometimes, non-living things also begin to pay heed to you, so now tennis balls, geyser, water-tap, laptops start to behave the way you want them to by not running amok, giving hot water, giving warm water and not crashing respectively. I thank god for that.

In the last some days I have discovered that cakes smell really badly when they become stale, that there are some very kind and unkind souls who wish you very well. There are many people who just make life so much easier and so much fun, making you feel very special. That is why, this whole tradition of having some days earmarked for just one person is brilliant I think. There are flowers and chocolates and tennis skirts make it even better. I thank God for this.

Continued maybe!

how many worlds??

the last two days have thrown at us, a series of questions and really important questions. There's been so much happening in the world, there are so many different times in the world, and I don't just mean time-zones but the state of civilizations. There were concentration camps, which were ghastly, and this could be an understatement. The atrocities that gypsies, jews, homosexuals amongst other non-Nazi or non-Fascist people went through were ofcourse macabre, but the depiction in the films that I have seen today, they seem almost inconceivable.

What is more disturbing that while so many things around us are happening, we live in such isolation with each other. Ofcourse there is a lot of fascination in thinking what must be going on in a relatively low-key geography say Nicaragua or Kazakhstan, but surely we all live in different times, because we have different problems, big and small and different insecurities, big and small to deal with.
But sometimes our daily blithe lives, with a little bit of sport and good food and lectures and assignments and trips and facebook seem so insignificant or ill-deserved and petty in front of such insufferable insults that countries and political systems and civilians and armies and children and lovers have been afflicted with.


The problem might be of too much complacency. Like Mathew says, we think we're above the system. That there are problems that can't reach us. But the more we feel less remote to them, the more sensitive we can become. I am restless, but the storms in my mind come and go. They don't cause much damage, meaning, no sooner that things touch me, than they settle. And there is little I end up doing about something that affected and overwhelmed me so completely just some time back. Not that I'm already back living it up, but I will still become more conforming than I'd liked to be.
That perhaps also makes me more hypocritical than anything else. Just hypothetically, i'd like to see how different I'd be if I were to be the things I can't contemplate being, but I defend and things that don't enjoy acceptance or tolerance in my neighbourhood. I don't think I can spell those things out here, but maybe it could make sense with more than one context.

Also the panoramic view looks vastly different from the much more closer look at life and discoveries of it. While one could try to know everything in this world, there are also the little happinesses and comforts of the family and friends that you could live for. People could come, enjoy themselves like drunks, mind their business and only their own, mix with neighbours and friends and go watch films with children and then with a lot of peace also depart.

What amazes me that everyday, I note down some things about which I'd like to go back and learn more. So there are limitless possibilities. And everyday, there are some things that are completely overpowering and sweeping. There are books and books to read, films and films to watch and art and more of it to appreciate and critique.
But i will never know enough to do anything about many things. At most I can hold views, change them every now and then but at any point of time, also hold them. But I hate to be passive. I have to respond to nature, to media, to films and to problems around me. I have to be more courageous in holding out my opinion. I also have to be much more curious. I have to be less lazy and more responsible for myself. I have to explore much more with my being, invest in my life, and 100% so. I have to stretch and stretch. And I have to also coil up in bed, reading something nice and listening perhaps to 'lay down beside me', thinking about things and people that are loved immensely.

So ofcourse there are concerns and commotions but be assured- the best is yet to be. A little bit of morning, melody, peace, sweetness and happiness every day, every place.

Later

Lord, I hope this day is good!

Mornings and evenings all were the same
And there was no name till I heard your name
But I knew, when i saw you smile
Now I can rest for awhile

I slept for very little while yesterday for today's presentation on taking khadi garments and ethnic indian wear for the indian diaspora to the UK. It was alright, nothing to write home about, but it was good fun, thinking really hard and arguing about things. Even though I try to stay away from arguments, I end up getting into some anyway. Anyhow, I was asked to score one group's presentation, and it turns out that I ended up being the most non-indulgent in giving scores. But good I did it, or I'd never have come to know that I wasn't as lenient as I thought I was. Anyhow, I'll try to think things through much better next time.

But since then, I've been pretty relaxed and finally it feels like a Sunday. So I've tried to make as much out of it as I could. I played tennis for a little while. And I've observed that I like rallies, I like length and I like it even if it means hitting the ball, straight to where it's coming from, in essence never placing it much. Finishing games and killing balls/shuttles has never been on my radar much. Grapes also might be sour, but they may not necessarily be. But tennis is good. It's just about you, and a little about your opponent. Team-games are always very glutted with politics and a classmate who i thought should've been in the team, has not found a place, and even though I do feel he should find one, I havn't been able to make my case because I dont know exactly why he should be in the team. When I find it, I will let know. Because sometimes, what we think is most democratic and fairest turns totally against the whole cause. And also, I think it is hard to put positive and negative dispositions against things aside. That is why they say, 'Education ruined me.'

Anyhow, also some days are simply better than others. Sometimes, one ends up playing the smoothest shot effortlessly and sometimes, after a lot of thought and will also, one ends up goofing it up. And improvement can be very erratic. It crawls and bounds and gallops and then it also sleeps for a long long time.

I'm excited about tomorrow. There's film studies with Mathew tomorrw, after a long time. But also, I have classes the whole day tomorrow. But there's work to be done too. For eg. the rural report. Remember, long time back, we'd gone through the length of south america on a bike. Anyhow, this too shall pass.

till then, Lord I hope this day is good!
Don Williams

budday mumma budday!!

it's been three hours since my mum's bday began...i called her at 12, not because Debo reminded me exactly one hour before that, but because i just remembered, obviously I just remembered. She seemed dam excited about her b'day, and I reciprocated it too. The good thing, she said, was that i'm on two phones, with my two daughters. Hehe, sounds exactly like mummy. So anyway, I wished her when I was in an auto, coming back from Nerdy's bday, where everyone wished her and she thanked everyone else. She told me that I should treat everyone on her behalf, to which I just nodded :d So anyway, Nerdy had taken us to this really brilliant place, with the most amazing food in Ahmedabad called Haute Peppers, and we had a brilliant time, catching up with old and new friends. And ofcourse, everyone in the group went mad, clicking pictures too. Not that anyone was a photographer, because everyone just wanted to be in the frame and wanted no frame to go waste, without somebody being in it. But the food was also awesome. We had spa penne with tomato, basil sauce, thai curry, margharita, penne alfredo and caeser salad and jalapeno cheese soup. And yes, it tasted as well as it sounds.
Yesterday, while preparing for Nerdy's bday, I went mad, scampering around, looking for streamers, some old pictures to put in her room, cake and gifts. I managed everything, but could not really do much with the streamers and photoes. I'm actually a ball of non-planned, skittish nerves, who doesn't know how to order things on time. So ya, finally i managed everything else at the last moment.

And then, ofcourse, the much awaited Oorja also had to be gotten ready for. Garba is my favourite thing, much like chocolates, pasta, music and mummy. I danced like a fury and wore some outrageous clothes, which can happen only here in MICA and I'm glad I grabbed this opportunity. Anyhow, I danced and danced and at midnight, got the band to wish for Nerdy. She was embarrassed but blushing all the way. When we returned from dancing, we wished her, dunked her, dunked me, dunked some others, cut the cake and ate at TT. By the time, I came back, it was super late. So all night, I was sleepy like a donkey but could not get any sleep because I thought all my limbs had their own lives, refusing to move even when I'd wished them they do. So unable to move much, I got up and tried to sleep and got up and tried to sleep. Didn't work much and I had a good mind to amputate my legs, because the pain had become intolerable. It'd been so nice, if I could put an injection on the bugle of my shins and remove all the pain. Anyhow, I got late for the class in the morning, even though I'd done some pre-reading that same early morning, when sleep wasn't willing to come.
So while, I was carrying the cup of hot tea, running to the class, the storms in my tea-cup caused it to fall on my toes in motion. A similar thing had happened a few days earlier and singed my toes. But anyway it's a good thing. I can always test the water in the bathing tap with my toes then, not feeling the cold and the hot much.

I played Badminton with Tan for a bit, and didn't feel very different from how it felt about 20 days back. But it wasn't very tiring either, because I was playing front.
Anyhow, that pain could've been because of lack of tennis, or lack of something else. These latter lacks I don't understand much. They just happen without much reason and then till fragile egos are squashed, they just stay. Anyway, lacks should fill up with joy, for everyone. Happy birthday and lots of brilliant wishes and a great day for Mummy on her b'day!

Later

anova and arima

Finally, My Econometrics class got over with a bang, with my deciding that if I have dogs in the future (which is highly unlikely) or children, I'm going to nickname them Anova and Arima. I'm highly inspired by Ecometrics and that's one of the major takeaways from the subject. There are other takeaways too, such as how auto-regression and moving averages work and stationarity can be achieved by finding out delta values but I also know, very soon i'm going to drop all of this. Statistics are such a hokum i say. How can random variables in the past years, help to predict a random variable this year. I mean, it's a misnomer I say. How can one explain an aberration and predict it's occurrence in the future. Actually, I have very little faith in the power of probability also but chuck it.

These days, the new object of my affection is tennis. We've stepped onto the next level I think. PK and I do things for this new occupation, that we'd never do for many things else. So when we have appointments in the evening, we go in the thick of the afternoon. These days, we play one rally after the other, which don't last so much, not because we hit a wrong shot but because I crack up thinking Oh God! this is too good to be true :D
we also run a lot in the court, trying to play powerfully and place properly. We don't lob so much. PK nudges nudges the ball, so that it lands on the slant of my racquet and gouge the moving ball, right on the lap of the racquet, scooping it such that I dont have to bend to pick it up. Fancy :D. And I have to buy new shoes, because my soul has stopped moving up and down with my foot so that it feels restricted and bridled. We're going to be the new legends that started so late, but win all the slams by 45.:D. Even if I put all the jokes aside, I have to say, we're improving and we feel extremely accomplished after playing. In our dreams to stay fit and athletic, playing tennis is like a definite impetus. But it also might be because of PK, whose love for the game most certainly bears upon mine. Finding a player, who's exactly the same level as you in terms of the quality of game, shares a similar liking for it and refuses to give up, atleast for some time, is almost like finding the most right and similar friend. Both are pretty rare, or atleast found with much difficulty.

Last night, we had a nice Morgan accompanying us on our trip into the night. It was spicy and the tongue could tell it's that. We had chips and lemon and lots of talking, along with it too. But it totally stole the thunder. It made me long for bed every now and then though, but it was only morning when i finally got to hit it. But ya it was nice chatting up with Tan and PK.

India won, and not that I know much about test cricket, I was slightly sad to see Sourav Ganguli retire. He's been one of my more favourite players. I liked the absolute grace with which he made his way to the team again. Quite an example.

Besides these things, there are some other things that need mention. I'm going to look more South Indian today than anytime else. It's because mummy is making me participate in the 'cutest' baby fancy dress. She's going to dress me up and make me look pretty :D

I'm going to be back with another story of indulgence. Till then, play it. Play it high and short and deep and low. Play it with flourish, applauding gallery lo!

Later

got sweetly bashed up!

i have come to some important conclusions today. less is more...and much much better. So the dissertation that i was fussing over so much, has completely left me sad and rather pitiful. I'd read up online on climate change and all and apparently the panel couldn't see through my focus at all. So the focus which was supposed to be broader in the beginning and much narrower later, from the literature review to the research proposal showed little. so they asked me to redo it a little bit, maybe having a more specific thing to talk about. So for the presentation, I ranted and ranted,which is what I do in most presentations and bored the panel. And I felt both things, ranting and boring. Anyway, apparently my proposal wouldn't be able to achieve much in 2 years let alone 5 months.
But the feedback was healthy. Very nicely i got *u**** over by the best, most harmless panel, who wouldn't harm a fly :) So now, I'll work on it again. Hopefully I should not flunk, but who can guarantee that.

So that was the sad bit, but then I slept and dreamt one dream after another. Really funny ones, which I remember but they're insanely arbid. So thankfully PK woke me up to play tennis. These days, tennis keeps me going. So however bad our days go, it's tennis that sort of pulls us out of our sadness :) Oh by the way, these days both PK and i are improving a great deal. There are things we can do now, that we woudn't be able to do before. These days balls go in the same direction as we mean to hit it. We can play half volleys if balls are very long. We can also defy the net in a manner of kissing it and having it pass because of more power in shots. We dont have to run around much fetching the ball from the shrubs full of snakes and frogs. Some of the most comforting things are, when I run through the length and breadth of the court to play and manage to send the ball flying in PK's court. Also, a fresh glass of nimbu paani is absolute bliss. It's as comforting as the thought of a big task accomplished and accomplished well, after a lot of work. Anyhow, I love to play with virgin balls huhahaha. I can't say whether the pun was intended or not. Anyway, they make a sound that old ones don't and don't need that much power. Even some of the native monkeys come and watch our game sometimes. Then random people playing basketball come and say that we're picking up well :D But anyway, I'm too old to do anything about it. I just plain love playing :D

So ya tennis is great. Then we had the Y Y session, where we talked about expectations and how to plan careers. We spoke about how compromises are choices and therefore, deserve no reciprocity. We were taught to learn to enjoy the journey, enjoy every step. We shouldnt be fussy about how the first step is going to look, because that will not ensure our second one. Infact we should be more concerned to enjoy the thrills in the journey. All this for our career. Also, in view of the prevailing recession, we are constantly warned against bad placements scene.

But the day's not come to an end yet. It's 5.30 in the morning and therefore it must be 12 in Greenwich and breakfast-like time in oriental countries. Good god, I must sleep or I'll get dark circles. Worse, I won't get breakfast. But before that, I played lots of Monopoly with Nerdy, who by the way has completely transformed after her recent trip to Calcutta. But no one should play Monopoly with her. She intimidates and knows all the rules properly and makes for demanding partner. She knows how to trade and add and subtract money, and consolidate houses and hotels. Infact, after playing Monopoly today, I thought it must've played an important role in making her the way she is. That's a dangerous thing :D.
But played with less thinking kind of people, I'm sure it can be a very interesting game. I'll wait for my chances with some other people. Till then

later

Lovers

Yet another train journey!

These last some days have gone past me exactly like a dream, like a really fast one. I remember a lot of things about it, and I forget a lot of others. I don’t really remember the sequence so much, not how it began but I do remember that it turned from a slow, laid-back holiday on the terrace when pappa used to go to the office like any other time, mummy saw the market come up and down and down and down many times over and Debo went to the college and Zoo’s presence was eagerly awaited, turned into a great fun family event wherein there were lot of things to do for home and there were people to visit and poojas to attend and designs to make, and friends to meet and lots of food to eat and lots of homework to bare and lights and ‘deeyas’ to be lit, weird saris to be draped, Debo’s rants and complaints about some dramatic sporting events to be heard and the subsequent reprimands from Zoo to be heard too, beautiful morning teas to be had and the wonderful home-made ‘namkeen’ to be had too. And offcourse there were lazy mornings and sleepy nights to be embraced too.

Anyhow, these last some days I’ve spent at my home in Indore and I really wished if I could earn a living out of this, out of just sitting and enjoying at home, if I could give everything else, college, studies, work, work-load, deadlines, crowd, traffic, strangers, pollution, etc. a miss altogether.

So ya, right now I’m in the train and when I look back, I just feel it was perfect. A perfect Diwali to celebrate with my favourite people at my favourite place. I’m sure I’m not going to feel like this tomorrow morning. Things don’t stay with me very long, so I’ll like the rush in college too.

Ya so yesterday I went to this engagement party, where we met a lot of people. Not that it was lots of fun, but generally it was interesting to see people behave with each other and talk and smile and check their beautiful, silk dresses out and catch up and talk about their children and parents and having the variety of food, that was on offer. I for one, tried a lot of things out and my dad would find me with the plate everytime he saw me. He even pointed it out to me, saying how long would I take to finish and appear less greedy but I had to keep trying. I was standing for chaat for pretty long and I’ve realized the trick to having the guy give you chaat first is to ask him to put less masala or some more dahi or no chatni, so no one else would have it and it be understood as yours and only yours.

Anyway, I also ran into some old friends here and there and caught up again on what we’d missed. Some very interesting things emerged like classmates’ engagements and appointments into colleges and jobs. But everyone is more and less settled with what he or she is doing, in places they’d most likely want to be in. And then I also realized how sometimes we just know people and it’s good but how there may have been some more to know but then earlier we just didn’t know them because it just wouldn’t come to that. And I also think, it’s best like that. Anyhow, I think one time, we should all just sit down in a circle, catch up with each other, past education forgotten and talk about things big and small, things that interest multiple people and things that old friends talk about.

I also made some interesting observations and discoveries in these Diwali get-togethers that we have. That singing sometimes becomes an addiction and some songs dope. Sometimes, you also get annoyed with yourself for singing and humming and not stopping the same song that you chided at someone else for singing. That everyone is asked to sing sometimes no matter how well or badly you might sing. That husbands and wives can be really possessive for each other. That one has to be very intelligent and prompt for some games in cards and it's not everyone's cup of tea. That I get extremely excitable when I started playing cards the first time, this Diwali when I played Black Jack with some of my cousins. That I'm not lucky with too much luck when it comes to playing with money. And going to 'Om Namkeen' for shopping for the kitchen is lots of fun because you get to taste and taste and then buy what you want. That beginner's luck stands and stands much too straight.

Anyhow, I have gotten some good food from home that I hope to share with my friends along with some great stories to tell. Going back to college should be very interesting too. There’ll be more work for me, more late nights and deadlines, more tennis and baddy and more eccentric routines.

Later

Of lot of Diwali, Alpana, fried food and prayers!

Of lot of Diwali, Alpana, fried food and prayers!
Today was great fun really! The morning was lazy, despite Diwali, which makes for a festival pregnant with work, but also lots of fun.
In the morning we were hearing about Rahul Raj, the youth who was shot in encounter by the police, who wanted to kill Raj Thackeray and who promised not to harm anyone else. But he was still shot in encounter. That sort of took my goatee, in fact it took everyone else’s goatee too, including the different, opposing parties in Bihar. Funnily Lalu Yadav, Paswan and Nitish Kumar came together to voice their concern against the mishap. These kind of acts really beat me. We were all very distressed at how things had come to such a head in all these really important and cosmopolitan places of the country such as Delhi and Mumbai, how we feel so snug here, in a smaller but much much more livable and gayer city. Anyhow, localism is starting to nibble away slowly at the peace of these cities because of sectional politics. Ofcourse there are youths like us, whose love for their places is completely thwarted because of the likes of ‘he-who-must-not-be-named’ and who become insanely indignant and take some extreme, indiscriminate measures. Sometimes I feel that someone wishing to commit suicide very urgently should make sure the scum cleared. (ridiculous thought not to be taken very seriously).
Anyhow, on a much happier note, today was the first day of Diwali and it was great fun at home. I was chilling, experimenting with the new camera, the results a testimony to its brilliant powers. :D. It’s usable and one can tell very soon, how to set the clock so that one can take pictures of himself from a distance.
Then Zoo and I made the red and white alpana, which made this Diwali a particularly special one. Never before, had we ventured into this kind of artistry. My mum probably also complained a lot because like other more responsible girls, we would take little interest in sprucing our house up. But this time we did. We tried to make a design outside our house with the red and white paint. It was an original by Zoo and Me, more Zoo and less Me. She made the skeleton, and then both of us sort of went crazy with it, doing what we thought would look pretty, putting colours in shapes, red and white in triangles, squares and diamonds. Now I don’t reckon that it was the most amazing piece of art I think it was amazing fun to fill the red triangles with white and white with red. The feel of the wet paint, turning a consistent opaque in some time is very gratifying. So we had a nice time alternating brushes with each other and filling shapes up. There were some imported patterns but we are old and we are trained and we are affected and however hard we try, we can’t remove those pretty images of mehendi on hands and rangolis at homes from our recollections. There are pictures to support this feeling. Like I said, looking at it is not as much fun as making it is. But when I asked Zoo if I had the trappings of a painter, she answered of course I could be a ‘gairu’ (the red colour you make floor paintings with and colour flower pots with) painter and a modern artist and I will remember it this year, when I will probably not be placed and I can earn a living out of my talent. J

Well, time in Indore is closing in on me. And it’s this phenomenon, where on any day, particular phases rush past me while others will be really slow. So mornings are usually very fast, afternoons are lazy, evenings are fast, nights are very very fast. So by the time I decide to work on my dissertation, I find the clock ticking 2 AM already.
Anyhow, it was Roop Chaudas today and we were supposed to have been looking very good and pretty but I think barring that, we did everything we were supposed to this evening including making a whole lot of goodies to eat.
I love Diwali. I really do. I wish my family, friends and loved ones in and around our political frontiers, lots of celebration, fun, wealth, health, colours and light.
Later

living different realities!

i'm finally home. and this time for a fairly longish break. It's exciting in a way, because somehow doing nothing at home is also very very solacing. One can laze around lazily in the room, or chat with mom and dad, watch my mum work and crib and work and crib so much that now they don't seem that they're being alternated, but rather 2 actions that can never part with each other, watch my dad be on the defensive sometimes, watch mummy get up with a start every now and then with the upping and downing of the market, watch the whole house speed around the house to pack my brother off to the college and get-up to power-packed tea discussions with mom and dad and having late-night chats with Debo, or walking those walks on the terrace, wherefrom I could see a really-far off development also, wherefrom I can see only much closer buildings and wherefrom, all those little twinkling lights in the distance, in the twilight are now obliterated by very opaque structures. It's a killer to listen to your favourite music and walk in that haven of mine. Earlier my parents used to freak out, because it's a sort-of ramshackle of a place with lots of junk kept from earlier times, but now I think they've given up.

It just doesnt seem like 3 days have already dragged rush past me and I havn't done anything extraordinary. My train journey was rushed, extremely rushed. I almost ran in the auto also, in order to reach on time. I ran across 1 no. platform to reach 6 no. platform, dragging my suitcase and a sack thinking what might happen if I missed the train. Thankfully, I reached 5 minutes too before the train was about to leave and the train left 5 minutes too after it was scheduled for departure. As far as I can remember, when we all used to travel together, dad used to carry an air-pillow and we all used to carry beddings and extra sheets, which my dad put for everyone very meticulously. I also remember there being a pantry in the train and vendors shunting in the train. I remember longer journeys and people talking to each other all the time.

Anyhow, I watched Motorcycle Diaries again, this time paying attention on the details and faces. It was a fairly dark film, or maybe it was the resolution but either way, I couldn't tell much, only being able to figure out some contours. The films looked exactly what it was depicting perhaps. It looked like a journey, a rather happening one, across South America. Ofcourse, not to mention that Ernesto was a beautiful man and a beautiful man. I also want to travel the same way he did. But i doubt if I am that dauntless.

The dissertation on climate change is rearing it's ugly head yet again. Its amazing how it's still occupying me with occupying me much really. I mean, its not that I'm doing much about it, but it's also not that my mind is without fear and care. But I will definitely start doing something, something chunky and tangible.

Why I say, i'm living in different realities because home's a different world altogether. The paces change drastically. From a really fast and packed one to a really slow and crawling one, where you have just enough time to chill. Norms and reasons change. Zoo becomes suddenly too old for marriage at home and too young for it otherwise. Ideas of entertainment also change. Ideas of a good holiday changes. Ideas of the right time to wake up, eat, play, work and sleep change. What becomes important is to then reduce the distress caused by this immense sea of difference. That's the only how one can celebrate it.

Later

ecotrics and tennis!

The last few days, I've spent trying to understand a little bit of econometrics, heteroskedacity, t values, significance, multi-collinearity in regression equations etc. I can't say, I don't understand them, but the understanding to too temporary. Now that my classes have gotten over atleast for a while, i doubt if I will be able to remember everything that's been taught to me. That's the thing, with these subjects making so much demand on you, very intensive but then if you don't use it soon enough and thereafter keep using it, you disremember it also pretty soon.

Besides, it's just too much statistics I feel. I hope someone teaches that in one day, before I can do a leap-frog with the extremely complex things that are being taught.

But there is big problem in how they have structured our classes this year. All of us practically work in peaks and troughs. So it doesn't lead to the best productivity. So for the last few days, we've had some very serious blocks of lectures in the same subject, which I feel is very unhealthy because by the time the next block happens about 15 days from now, we'll have forgotten a lot. So we're playing hide-n-seek only.

Besides, a lot of different visiting faculty come and teach us the same subject, so the next teacher would have no idea what was taught in the last class, knowing not where to pick the thread from. So either it'll lead to repetition (it's not funny the number of times we've done TRP's and SEC's and psychographic and demographic segmentations, etc.), or a total disconnectedness from the previous lecture, which to my mind is very ineffective. Also if on a given day, you have 4 or 5 lectures on the same day, it leads to lethargy very soon.

Anyway, a little about the game of tennis. It doesn't need my pronouncing it a beautiful game ofcourse but lately it's caught my fancy quite considerably. Anyhow, I'll tell what happens when you're learning the game. First you hold the racquet, begin by bouncing the ball on the court, and hit with a skewed hand. Then it starts to dawn on you, that if you hand is skewed the the ball flies in all directions. Then you lob a lot, just a lot, sending balls left, right and centre, into the thickets and hedges, where reside a lot of snakes and frogs and ants, waiting to take revenge. But I just run, so I don't think they will ever be able to recognize me.

Ya so after you lob the ball a lot, all the while running around a lot, picking balls up, you realize that maybe it'll be a better idea for the shot to be more level. So you end up netting a lot of your balls. And the net is merciless. It attracts the balls. I don't think it knows what benefit of doubt is, so a shot, which you think is certainly going to reach the other half, will suddenly stop in mid-air to drop pat perpendicular on the net. Ya then, somehow, your balls don't lob so much and they don't land on the net so much, but the act still remains a lot, just a lot to be desired. Then you work on your swing, on the finish of the shot. The racquet comes from behind, and goes all the way up. That's the way, you channelize the power well. Anyhow, it's like an expert talking right? Hardly. But I might be an expert beginner you see, because I've played for 4 days, and i'm very excited, so is PK, my tennis-partner. By the way, for those who want to start, there is a fairly long teething time in tennis, so it's going to seem very silly playing for some time before the game starts to look like tennis.

Ya, so that was about ecotrics and tennis. I wanted to read also a little bit today, but the stupid vendor's not dropping papers only. I think he thinks, that my door's always locked, what's the point of putting papers. But that's the thing with newspaper vendors. They are completely faceless. It feels like magic sometimes, how as a child we got papers on time, everyday without fail. Come sunshine, rain or hail. (A poem :)) But as a child, in RK Puram, I also came to know about autumn because the huge tree in front of our house, always shed red-brown leaves and the tree would go naked for sometime, before fresh and small, glossy and thick green leaves started to make appearance again.

I'm going home tomorrow (listening and humming 'homeward bound'), and giving Micanvas a miss this time. I attended it last year, so this time I'll see how it feels to give it a miss :) Have a cornucopia of chores to perform tomorrow before I vacate my room to let some other people stay for Micanvas. My room's a sty, things strewn everywhere. I do have a to-do list, but it's me remember. That doesn't seem enough.

Later

what a joy!!

So, 20 blogs back I'd written how if i'm able to write this one, it's for keeps, it's for good. And so here I am writing my 21st. It's not just about 21 sounding like a good number. 21 is the number that ensues habit. Now i'm not sure if this has turned into a habit already, but I'm still quite proud of being able to do this.

Anyhow, I think enough has happened today to celebrate this. It's amazing how these days, I have no idea about what happens in the next one. How each day is a good degree different from the previous one. There is little I know about tomorrow except I have classes in Econometrics. Not that I know much about statistics, mathematics or even economic theory but Economics has interested me a great deal. Even though I have read no literature or seen no films for that interest. But I can say with confidence that when I read about it, I read it with rapt attention. But going from today's classes, my professor does keep everyone with him. So there's no apprehension about the subject.

I started to play tennis today. Because, our overused badminton court cannot multiply at the behest of the arrogant children, I have decided to divert attention to tennis in the peak hours. It's a beautiful game to watch, and online tennis or tennis over the phone is beautiful too, and less tiring. But since me and PK, began playing today, we would just pick balls and pick balls. However it really excited us if we were able to return balls once or twice. But more often than not, we would just lob and lob and send balls flying in all directions. But it was great fun to keep running around like a ball boy and playing tennis. Later in the night I also played Badminton with Tan. She's this amazing baddy player and plays some very strategically mind-blowing shots. But I beat her. Yes, I beat her. Which is quite incredible actually because I hadn't thought this coming. But there are some things that I came to realize about these sports.

a> No amount of running around the court can make up for a smart game. I mean, it's absolutely imperative to be all around the court and manage your opponent really smartly. so if you do run all the way up to hit your shot, it's quite a waste anyway because a smart opponent would then hit it at the back. It's not as crass as I just put it, but if one could refine it a little bit, it's true.

b> If you really want to get competitive and win a game, it's important to get a little tired. So I got absolutely bushed towards the game with Tan in badminton but I still loved to return the shuttle. It was one of the most fulfilling game I've played in a long time. Therefore also, like a SCAM says, singles really improve your game, which is so true, because I have totally paraded in and out of a court, at my own wish while playing with Mudili, because he was always there to back me up.

Anyhow, I had the Sankalp (theater) auditions also today. Not that they were a very important thing because it was horribly brief. I just had to say a few lines in Hindi. Nevertheless after a lot of weighing and thought did I even attempt it. Not that it means a lot because I'm a minnow in front of many brilliant thespian stalwarts in my college. Making it or not making is not even the question but just sitting on a chair on the stage in front of the directors and reading out the script was something I wouldn't not want to do. So when they asked me if I'd acted ever before, I said no-no never before.

Then, I read quite a bit. I read the paper for a bit and the Namesake for another bit. It was important because it's another of those things that I want to make a habit. Anyhow, I don't know how far I'll be able to continue because very soon, I'll be packed to home, packed to Indore. I have an option of staying back for Micanvas, MICA fest, which wasn't much to write home about, not for me atleast because I didn't participate much, looking at some new faces, experiencing some recitals and concerts and marvelling at the amount of action around you. The campus is abuzz with activity during the fest.

And I also have the option of taking off earlier and spare myself any work that all of us might be allotted for the fest. But chuck it. I think I'll just go home, spend time at home, fight with mom and dad a little bit, be bullied at the hands of Debo and meet some old friends. I'm past the age when students think that every piece of work that they do in a management fest, teaches them something for life and for professional life. I think where I'll finally end up learning is not here, but work itself, or maybe home a little bit, things which are more permanent and more real. In any case, I'm not a great believer in simulations, except when one is put through some really deep trauma or shake-up. :d i may have sounded extremely self-importantist actually. But it's not that bad.

And, a friend finally got drunk today. Ya ya it's news because he happens to be able to hold his drink. But ya, he slurred a little bit. I think, he must be fast asleep now. Ya, he must be. So i'll talk when he's up from the sound slumber.

Later

what a chilled day it was!

so I had a fairly lazy day today. I have lots of such days this year in college. Also because we have a bouquet of subjects to choose from in the second year, so when we don't have electives, and when we don't have that stupid albatross in the form of some dissertation deadline, the research proposal or defense or something, then we're usually chilling only.

I wrote a couple of important emails to some important people who could help me with stuff with my dissertation. They are people concerned with 'climate change in India'. I don't know how far they can help me, but I've still tried my bit. I do know though that they're very very passionate about climate agendas. I also am, but I like to rest and chill more I think.

So ya, according to my resolution of reading more, I tried to read but some unfortunate things happened. Like my paper didn't come today. So couldn't read that. I also couldn't read the book much because I was chilling with different people most of the day. And I wasn't talking about something that was going to affect our lives so much, but more about the smaller, more regular small talk.

Anyhow, then I played badminton. A rather good game it was. For sometime I did not have to think about all the politics and unfairness that we have to deal with on the court, but purely on the game. Every shot was very measured because me and Tan played with two really really strong players, who were also very competitive. So i don't think there was a lot of scope for casualty on court. But ya, that we kept in mind and played as best as we could. We still lost, after giving a really tough fight. But never mind that. In my college, people play baddy all the time. So one must see people fight at the peak hours, like they scramble in the local trains. They apply new logics and reasons why they should be allowed to play everyday. I think I maintain just one. Let me play, come what may :D kya poem hai.

Anyhow, I had some nice tea and snacks and since then have spoken to many people over the phone. I spoke to Minkie for sometime. We spoke for quite a bit, reminiscing about a lot of old times. We do that a lot . Talk about . But it's all a lot of fun, because invariably we discover new things that happened in school or sometime else around a highly-discussed event.
So ya, we spoke for quite a bit, thinking about what the near and the distant future might hold. That also is a lot of good fun because we come out with some brilliant theories and flaky possibilities which totally crease me.

Then I spoke to Zoo, with whom I discussed a lot of family and marriage blues. Lately I've increased the time I spend with her over the phone. We discuss o lot of things, including theater, life in Mumbai, new places to eat, new places to chill, new books to read, parents, places and marriage. And then I wished a friend happy birthday, who I have a feeling will stay up all night taking calls from people.

And while I am writing this, I can hear a lot of people totally larking about. On the left, from the courtyard and on the right, from the garden, people are just making lots of merry, because of the lack of work and classes tomorrow. I still have some work. I have to do some pre-reads for a couple of classes in the evening and afternoon. I have a script to read for some play audition for which I'm sure I'm going to founder completely. Actually I'm not the acting kinds. Nevertheless, let's give this one a shot too. So that's that. Au revoir.

Later