In the middle of the day, when I have just so much more than enough to handle, I'm writing. It's because there are so many things in my head, it's better if i just put pen to paper, or finger to board and deep-six them. They're not worth keeping in the head for too long, nor will they stay too long. That's the thing. Writing relieves your mind, atleast mine for some time. Then in order to keep them with me a little longer, I dont keep ruminating it.
Anyhow, it's the D day. the One on which I leave for my rurals. But right now Im not thinking about how it's going to be. Infact there are a flurry of things that need done before that. That's keeping me preoccupied. There's a stupid literature review which my guide says is like an essay. There are no quotes et al. It's like an essay. Anyhow, i'll give it a little something and give it back.
The thing is, it's very important to package things really really well. I mean, your strait-laced things don't work at all. Weave your story around what you want to say, and make it compelling and it'll be told. For me, I don't make things clear enough to people that I believe in what I'm doing, therefore it becomes so easy for anyone to rebuff it. Anyhow, tell your story, and you'll do well. Zoo also tells me that.
Ya, so I stayed back for these classes which were going to be taken by a brilliant faculty from the industry. But he diidn't show up, and now both me and Nerdy feel so short-changed. I because Id wanted to hear his voice, his STORY, and she wanted to enjoy her holidays. Ofcourse neither of us got what we'd wanted. It's funny how it led to such a lose-lose situation. That is why I think it's all jinxed.
Anyway, the faculty that came in his place is sooo beautiful. I mean she's not beautiful beautiful but she's so beautiful. Every word she says is so melifluous. It's almost like music. It's people like her that make me love words so much. Seriously, I love words, words that are spoken so beautifully. She comes from BIG FM, and tells her story. She talks about radio as a medium so passionately. How it is such a strong, engaging, interactive medium that connects its audience up-close. Something that television hasn't achieved. And television is far-reaching. But radio's not a reach story. it's about the intimacy story.
Ya, so that's about BIG, but more about her. She reminds me so much of one of my favourite French teachers, who used to have a killer of a smile and one graceful woman she is.
She distributed chocolates to people who answered her. I didn't get any but the guys behind me did. I asked if they had left any, but they didn't and offered the wrapper. It's one of the most annoying things one could come across. Being offered a wrapper when ask for a chocolate. I mean not getting chocolate is bad enough.
Then I read a little about creative, design cities and how it's all about cities and not about states or countries any more. All cities are competing for each other. While they are looking for some heady development, there are a host of problems that make big and urban cities so bally unlivable. They're not pleasant anymore. So all about urban problems. So most of the attention goes on these issues rather than beautifying and planning a city out. But only yesterday I was talking to someone about what makes a city 'modern'. But could not really think of what makes it. If i'd read this article yesterday, maybe i could have contributed more. But it always happens right. Exactly after the GD where you didn't know what 'euthanasia' was, you read the article about the woman who was suffering so much (I forget her name). Somethings I think never go the way you want them to. So when you want to be seen as a certain person, or when you want your friends to behave a certain way in front of your first crush in school or something, it'll never never turn out like that. It leaves everyone embarrassed. Anyhow...
Ya anyhow, that's done. I will update the blog, once there is more I can think of. Mostly for some days I may not be able to write for the work and the other setting I'm in. So I pray forgive me. :D
Later
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
the child's begun to kick!
O, it's the first time that my blog's seeing the light of day.. I mean it's the first time i'm writing in the day. It's because, I couldn't write yesterday for a little bit of work and all, and then I thought it's not fair to my fans :) hehe.
Anyhow there's lots going in my head, but little in action. I mean, when people ask me if my literature review for dissertation's started I say, yes it has, it has started to worry me :). That's the first step for any project, then I begin to research extensively and then I write things and compile them. For me, the largest chunk is to prune my compilation :) Funny! Aint it?
Ya so finally, I spoke to a prof, who gave me some idea, some direction for the rationale of my dissertation. I mean, what about climate change did I want to document. I didnt' know that and then it'd be mighty difficult for me to defend the topic only.
Anyhow, I decided I'd put a national context to it. I mean, we all know what global warming and climate change are but how can this awareness turn into action is what I want to write about. I mean how can Indians begin to show concern through action in their daily lives. For that, I'll have to do a communication audit of the various mediums used so far to communicate the concerns, some technical stuff such as carbon footprint, carbon sequestration, tradable quotas of carbon, carbon sinks, greenhouse effects, etc. etc.
Anyhow, i'll do that. But more than that, there's a bigger, more tempting dish in my plate. It's my little one, the rural project. I'm finally going to Bikaner and Sri Dungargarh with Nerdy. Actually Fatehpur is also very close by. That's where my dad's from. We've been there a couple of times, only too see our once-a-beautiful haveli fall to ruins and plundered many times over. But now I think few people know who it belongs to. I think it belongs to hundreds of descendants. Im madly looking forward to it. We're just the two of us and i'm sure it's going to be fun. I have decided to do so many things. Since I'm already due for a make-over, I'll get some piercings done. I was thinking of a tattoo but I decided I don't like the permanence about it. I was speaking to a friend, who's finally going in for a tattoo, a long one but is indecisivee about the left or the right shoulder. She was telling me, that she wants some permanence. Something that'll stick around with her. She drew an analogy between marriage and tattoos. It seems it's very painful to get into and out of both of them. But if it's left like on its own, it'll stay. I think it made sense for her because lots been happening with her anyway, so maybe a tattoo will help her snap out of the tangle.
So anyhow, I'll get my upper ears pierced if it's not painful. And then I'll lug myself with lots of silver, if it's not too expensive. And then I'll wear what these Rajputs wear, the 'Kanchli Kurtas', much like ghaghra chunnis only, except they wear it day-to-day also. And then with those beautiful attires, waltz around in the bare landscapes of Rajasthan. We'll speak to people in rural villages and click lots of pictures.
After that, I think i'll go to Jodhpur, where my nani stays. And then off to Bbay, where I catch up with Zoo, who's mooning over a lot these days. She's awfully busy ofcourse what with the singing class, work and acting workshop. And then we'll party and party and party.
Anyhow, this happens a lot to me. As the final days of a term, close in on me, I become much more dreamy and spaced out. I just think a lot! So my vacation is keeping me pre-occupied. So help me work someone please!!
O, the little room where I shacked up every day in college, with a host of golden daffodils (read a little mouse, various colors of green lizards and occasional frogs) have all been taken out now. The carpenters came and gave my room bit of job. So now it's peaceful and sound sleeping here.
Later
Anyhow there's lots going in my head, but little in action. I mean, when people ask me if my literature review for dissertation's started I say, yes it has, it has started to worry me :). That's the first step for any project, then I begin to research extensively and then I write things and compile them. For me, the largest chunk is to prune my compilation :) Funny! Aint it?
Ya so finally, I spoke to a prof, who gave me some idea, some direction for the rationale of my dissertation. I mean, what about climate change did I want to document. I didnt' know that and then it'd be mighty difficult for me to defend the topic only.
Anyhow, I decided I'd put a national context to it. I mean, we all know what global warming and climate change are but how can this awareness turn into action is what I want to write about. I mean how can Indians begin to show concern through action in their daily lives. For that, I'll have to do a communication audit of the various mediums used so far to communicate the concerns, some technical stuff such as carbon footprint, carbon sequestration, tradable quotas of carbon, carbon sinks, greenhouse effects, etc. etc.
Anyhow, i'll do that. But more than that, there's a bigger, more tempting dish in my plate. It's my little one, the rural project. I'm finally going to Bikaner and Sri Dungargarh with Nerdy. Actually Fatehpur is also very close by. That's where my dad's from. We've been there a couple of times, only too see our once-a-beautiful haveli fall to ruins and plundered many times over. But now I think few people know who it belongs to. I think it belongs to hundreds of descendants. Im madly looking forward to it. We're just the two of us and i'm sure it's going to be fun. I have decided to do so many things. Since I'm already due for a make-over, I'll get some piercings done. I was thinking of a tattoo but I decided I don't like the permanence about it. I was speaking to a friend, who's finally going in for a tattoo, a long one but is indecisivee about the left or the right shoulder. She was telling me, that she wants some permanence. Something that'll stick around with her. She drew an analogy between marriage and tattoos. It seems it's very painful to get into and out of both of them. But if it's left like on its own, it'll stay. I think it made sense for her because lots been happening with her anyway, so maybe a tattoo will help her snap out of the tangle.
So anyhow, I'll get my upper ears pierced if it's not painful. And then I'll lug myself with lots of silver, if it's not too expensive. And then I'll wear what these Rajputs wear, the 'Kanchli Kurtas', much like ghaghra chunnis only, except they wear it day-to-day also. And then with those beautiful attires, waltz around in the bare landscapes of Rajasthan. We'll speak to people in rural villages and click lots of pictures.
After that, I think i'll go to Jodhpur, where my nani stays. And then off to Bbay, where I catch up with Zoo, who's mooning over a lot these days. She's awfully busy ofcourse what with the singing class, work and acting workshop. And then we'll party and party and party.
Anyhow, this happens a lot to me. As the final days of a term, close in on me, I become much more dreamy and spaced out. I just think a lot! So my vacation is keeping me pre-occupied. So help me work someone please!!
O, the little room where I shacked up every day in college, with a host of golden daffodils (read a little mouse, various colors of green lizards and occasional frogs) have all been taken out now. The carpenters came and gave my room bit of job. So now it's peaceful and sound sleeping here.
Later
Monday, September 22, 2008
there's got to be something!
It seems like a long time since I wrote last. The thing is there's been a lot of classes to attend, and when I come back, there are either assignments to do or I feel extremely tired and sleepy.
Ya, my 4th term is officially come to an end. I still have a few classes left, but they are not going to be graded. And ofcourse I have a literature review left for my dissertation. Oh God, if there was one thing that you could give me right now, should be some clarity. I am so horribly confused about things that it's no one's business.
For eg. I still havnt been able to narrow down my focus in 'Climate change, global warming, carbon footprint, emissions, auto and political lobbies, 'An Inconvenient Truth', 'The 11th Hour', etc. etc. The problem is the topic is so vast, and a lot has already been done and studied so there are tomes and tomes to read and lots to know. Anyhow, I think I should begin tomorrow. Today doesn't seem like a very good one.
In the morning today, through the classes, I was wondering if it would be better to kiss it good bye for the horrible pain or of an overdose of pain-killers. And while I was thinking, the pain slowly took the edge off. You know there is something about some days. They are just not the happiest ones you have. So ya, there was the stomach ache and then there was Ambi Pur presentation for Brand management, which also bombed. Infact we have degenerated so badly as students, that at a point of time I actually said- 'Make relevant products for relevant people' as written by one of the fellow students, the same one who said that in the long run, Ambi Pur should look at children and teenagers.
Anyhow, my term's come to an end. And I am extremely happy about it. Despite going home, I felt I need a break. I think it's got something to do with classes but not entirely to do with that. Ya so there was something in the day, which wasn't exactly very pleasant.
I tried to play badminton in the evening and today more than anytime else I felt angry with myself forsticking with the game for so long and not being able to learn much. There were shots after shots, coming straight to my body that i could not handle, and a fellow student, who is surely not very pleasant could not make himself win. He said- 'You don't duck at the right time, so it's not right for you to play in front, and I've had to play all your shots', after which ofcourse I felt a certain burst of anger, which I think did spur me to do better. Anyhow, no one, even the best players don't deserve to talk like that. By the way, the way people play doubles in any sport such as Badminton can tell you a world about any person. I've gotten insights about people all the time while they're playing with me. And since I know this, I try not to say much while I play.
Anyhow, this done with all the pain and all the accusation, I spoke to some friends. All really good friends. But only friends after all. It's funny how I grew up so suddenly. Till some time back I used to feel problems about people, about close people and relationships could never be real. But everything that cinema or t.v lead us to believe, I feel now is true to an extent. They reflect reality as much as they construct it. There are things that could jeopardize years of well-nurtured relationships, but still they are just so worth it. A jilted friend may never come round, but just for your own sake, you've got to do something that makes you happier and for maybe that friend's sake, be honest to her, and give her time to make peace and if she doesn't forgive then you've got to forget. Anyhow, it's really complex.
It just leads to hurried hang-ups.
But then I spoke to an old friend and an old friend. He annoys and he advises and annoys and advises. But one thing I know is that there are roles that people play brilliantly, and others they flounder in so completely. So it's best to have only a few people play more than one role. For eg. Both Zoo and Minkie are great friends also. Debo's also my critic, a rather ruthless one.
Anyhow I'll do some important things like meeting my guides for dissertation and all. I hope tomorrow is brilliant. Ofcourse days are also brilliant, they are bright and make cats and dogs and people look much less scary.
Later
Ya, my 4th term is officially come to an end. I still have a few classes left, but they are not going to be graded. And ofcourse I have a literature review left for my dissertation. Oh God, if there was one thing that you could give me right now, should be some clarity. I am so horribly confused about things that it's no one's business.
For eg. I still havnt been able to narrow down my focus in 'Climate change, global warming, carbon footprint, emissions, auto and political lobbies, 'An Inconvenient Truth', 'The 11th Hour', etc. etc. The problem is the topic is so vast, and a lot has already been done and studied so there are tomes and tomes to read and lots to know. Anyhow, I think I should begin tomorrow. Today doesn't seem like a very good one.
In the morning today, through the classes, I was wondering if it would be better to kiss it good bye for the horrible pain or of an overdose of pain-killers. And while I was thinking, the pain slowly took the edge off. You know there is something about some days. They are just not the happiest ones you have. So ya, there was the stomach ache and then there was Ambi Pur presentation for Brand management, which also bombed. Infact we have degenerated so badly as students, that at a point of time I actually said- 'Make relevant products for relevant people' as written by one of the fellow students, the same one who said that in the long run, Ambi Pur should look at children and teenagers.
Anyhow, my term's come to an end. And I am extremely happy about it. Despite going home, I felt I need a break. I think it's got something to do with classes but not entirely to do with that. Ya so there was something in the day, which wasn't exactly very pleasant.
I tried to play badminton in the evening and today more than anytime else I felt angry with myself forsticking with the game for so long and not being able to learn much. There were shots after shots, coming straight to my body that i could not handle, and a fellow student, who is surely not very pleasant could not make himself win. He said- 'You don't duck at the right time, so it's not right for you to play in front, and I've had to play all your shots', after which ofcourse I felt a certain burst of anger, which I think did spur me to do better. Anyhow, no one, even the best players don't deserve to talk like that. By the way, the way people play doubles in any sport such as Badminton can tell you a world about any person. I've gotten insights about people all the time while they're playing with me. And since I know this, I try not to say much while I play.
Anyhow, this done with all the pain and all the accusation, I spoke to some friends. All really good friends. But only friends after all. It's funny how I grew up so suddenly. Till some time back I used to feel problems about people, about close people and relationships could never be real. But everything that cinema or t.v lead us to believe, I feel now is true to an extent. They reflect reality as much as they construct it. There are things that could jeopardize years of well-nurtured relationships, but still they are just so worth it. A jilted friend may never come round, but just for your own sake, you've got to do something that makes you happier and for maybe that friend's sake, be honest to her, and give her time to make peace and if she doesn't forgive then you've got to forget. Anyhow, it's really complex.
It just leads to hurried hang-ups.
But then I spoke to an old friend and an old friend. He annoys and he advises and annoys and advises. But one thing I know is that there are roles that people play brilliantly, and others they flounder in so completely. So it's best to have only a few people play more than one role. For eg. Both Zoo and Minkie are great friends also. Debo's also my critic, a rather ruthless one.
Anyhow I'll do some important things like meeting my guides for dissertation and all. I hope tomorrow is brilliant. Ofcourse days are also brilliant, they are bright and make cats and dogs and people look much less scary.
Later
Friday, September 19, 2008
zzzzz!
i think i'll spare myself and everyone today. nothing much to write.
I attended class, simply because I wanted to, and I didn't have to. That complex that I have. Oh by the way I'm a pretty sick child. As a kid I used to love even numbers, and then I started to like odd numbers and then I just like very few numbers. So till the count for anything (and it could be anything under the sun) reaches that number, I have to continue doing it.
I am superstitious in an extremely funny way. I have the bolt complex, so if in the middle of the night I feel I may not have locked my door, I have to get up and go find out, even though I don't forget too often to close my door.
I have the written word complex. I love to write things down, so I dont forget them. I mean, I think human memory is not trusty enough, and so it's important to write things down, because there is an amount of permanence about the written word. Infact, I dont think I ever ever go back to my extensive notes, but I still keep writing like Forrest keeps running!
I also have this fetish to store things up. So if it is a late bill, which has long been paid and settled, i'll still keep it thinking i might need it sometime in the future. At home, I used to stack newspapers, heaps after heaps, without letting my mom get rid of them, thinking I would read them sometime later. I keep forwards and words-of-the-day in my mailbox forever (until Nerdy proposed to clean it) because I dont read them everywhere, and I might read and learn them once im older and perhaps more free. But I doubt if that also will happen, because I may not learn to let go even when I'm older and wiser :)
And ofcourse I am an extreme, and most acute case of 'somnia'. So I have to sleep very very badly. Good night
Later
I attended class, simply because I wanted to, and I didn't have to. That complex that I have. Oh by the way I'm a pretty sick child. As a kid I used to love even numbers, and then I started to like odd numbers and then I just like very few numbers. So till the count for anything (and it could be anything under the sun) reaches that number, I have to continue doing it.
I am superstitious in an extremely funny way. I have the bolt complex, so if in the middle of the night I feel I may not have locked my door, I have to get up and go find out, even though I don't forget too often to close my door.
I have the written word complex. I love to write things down, so I dont forget them. I mean, I think human memory is not trusty enough, and so it's important to write things down, because there is an amount of permanence about the written word. Infact, I dont think I ever ever go back to my extensive notes, but I still keep writing like Forrest keeps running!
I also have this fetish to store things up. So if it is a late bill, which has long been paid and settled, i'll still keep it thinking i might need it sometime in the future. At home, I used to stack newspapers, heaps after heaps, without letting my mom get rid of them, thinking I would read them sometime later. I keep forwards and words-of-the-day in my mailbox forever (until Nerdy proposed to clean it) because I dont read them everywhere, and I might read and learn them once im older and perhaps more free. But I doubt if that also will happen, because I may not learn to let go even when I'm older and wiser :)
And ofcourse I am an extreme, and most acute case of 'somnia'. So I have to sleep very very badly. Good night
Later
Thursday, September 18, 2008
a state of bafflement!
i've perhaps not been so baffled about things in a long time. Or i have been but not about a very important thing, or about something that didnt matter so much. But this does. As far as the rural studies are concerned, everything around me is in a state of flux. There are soo many places to visit, some people to go with but the dates are fixed. These dates, they are my biggest problem. Why are they so inflexible. Weeks and months and years give us much more time right!
So anyhow, me and Nerdy just realized that we have huge break facing us, because we dont have those electives and I think home beckons us. But there are also a lot of other things. Dissertation- remember the big fat burden I keep cribbing about. So the literature review is due very soon. So i'll have to stay back for that. Besides, that inexplicable bug inside me that urges me to attend many classes. Why can't I let go??? Am I aging or something??
So ya deadline in an hour and a half about the place and the people and dates when we're going, but have no clue about any. But no one need worry. Everyone will do his or her thing, according to what suits him/her best. Since I've been a bag of beans for Rajasthan, I think I will go there only. I'll pull someone along if nothing works out.
Anyhow, apart from this, Consumer Insight Mining test was good fun. I submitted it exactly 5 minutes before the deadline. So that be sorted. Then I saw this really good play directed by our theater society- Sankalp which promises to take theater to newer heights in my college. It was an adaptation by one of Woody Allen's 'God', which keeps asking what is reality. It was called 'The End' and one should look at a classic ending and then write backwards to get an end, a middle and a beginning. But I'm not sure. Not in the sense of challenging it, I'm just not sure.
And by the way, a little bit of some really really good music can bring that much needed salience into the day. And today Yann Tiersen is all that I seem to be inspired by. Perhaps, someday in the future I will remember that the day when so many other things were happening, Yann Tiersen was constant.
Anyhow, music is therapeutic. But one can't look at music and fragrance with any detachment. I can't seem to isolate them from the experiences that they were a part of too. So Nike and Dove perfumes always remind me of people. The mango lip balm reminds me of a place and 'O humdum Suniyo Re' reminds me of 2003 World Cup, when it was 'plum'!
So that's it now, nothing very profound to say :) I think I'll sleep and have a good and peaceful day tomorrow.
Later
So anyhow, me and Nerdy just realized that we have huge break facing us, because we dont have those electives and I think home beckons us. But there are also a lot of other things. Dissertation- remember the big fat burden I keep cribbing about. So the literature review is due very soon. So i'll have to stay back for that. Besides, that inexplicable bug inside me that urges me to attend many classes. Why can't I let go??? Am I aging or something??
So ya deadline in an hour and a half about the place and the people and dates when we're going, but have no clue about any. But no one need worry. Everyone will do his or her thing, according to what suits him/her best. Since I've been a bag of beans for Rajasthan, I think I will go there only. I'll pull someone along if nothing works out.
Anyhow, apart from this, Consumer Insight Mining test was good fun. I submitted it exactly 5 minutes before the deadline. So that be sorted. Then I saw this really good play directed by our theater society- Sankalp which promises to take theater to newer heights in my college. It was an adaptation by one of Woody Allen's 'God', which keeps asking what is reality. It was called 'The End' and one should look at a classic ending and then write backwards to get an end, a middle and a beginning. But I'm not sure. Not in the sense of challenging it, I'm just not sure.
And by the way, a little bit of some really really good music can bring that much needed salience into the day. And today Yann Tiersen is all that I seem to be inspired by. Perhaps, someday in the future I will remember that the day when so many other things were happening, Yann Tiersen was constant.
Anyhow, music is therapeutic. But one can't look at music and fragrance with any detachment. I can't seem to isolate them from the experiences that they were a part of too. So Nike and Dove perfumes always remind me of people. The mango lip balm reminds me of a place and 'O humdum Suniyo Re' reminds me of 2003 World Cup, when it was 'plum'!
So that's it now, nothing very profound to say :) I think I'll sleep and have a good and peaceful day tomorrow.
Later
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Why Why and more!
i took my Marketing Strategy exam and it wasnt a very big surprise that I didn't think I did very well. Not only was it long, but one had to keep looking at some 'strategic orientations' in the Howard cases, which have 'Do not copy' written all over them, which distracts me quite a lot.
Ya, then I had to deal with the dissertation committee as regards the grade loss because of not adhering to the deadlines but what they dont know is that I laugh at deadlines. Partly because I cant meet them and partly because you can't have deadlines for everything. We want to do our dissertations in our own time, in topics that interest us and topics that we can manage in the limited amount of time. We all started with some lofty ambitions, which were snubbed somewhere in the way. But musnt we really start indeed with a lot of ambitions.
Anyhow, we couldn't meet the deadlines regarding the submission of the dissertation premise and guide and therefore had to suffer the grade loss. Not that it matters so much but it's not about the grade-loss. I think they should just breeze through things such as dissertation, which is supposed to be personal, something that you really want to study and absorb completely in your own time. But these people issuing deadlines will not understand :(.
I seriously think, we must teach our children to go beyond formal education. I think it is more important to be cultured, to respond to nature and appreciate art and to be humble more than anything else. I was reading somewhere that our sense of aesthetics is also very skin-deep. So we could look at Taj Mahal with awe but not really think about what must've gone into making it, where from must Shah Jahan gotten the werewithal to build such a beautiful relic (which is a stupid thought ofcourse because he was the almighty Mughal King then so he must have everything he wanted). So often times we look at what is in front of us and not what is behind it. But uff I can't begin to preach.
And yes we had the Why Why session today with PAT. It is this unique, voluntary class wherefrom students can walk out or walk in anytime. There is no attendance and no exam. We can talk about anything under the sun. Basically we ask all these existential questions about why me, why you, why I, why love, the sense of touch, etc. etc.
We bare ourselves out to the fellow students, sharing our personal spaces. I have finally concluded it's not a bad thing actually. I mean, there's no harm in telling people about your life. Afterall there's much more to you than you could ever tell anyone in words. That's the thing, one could think that he knows everything about a certain person but still know that little. But this can be done without expecting the other person to bare himself out in return. Anyhow, it just brings out how different everyone is.
Ya so, I shut my eyes, and I was walking alone on a beach, and walking and walking. I could feel the the soft and coarse, white and brown, wet and dry sand between my toes. I walked along the beach, smelling the saltness of the sea and the beach. I walked and walked and see another human being on the beach. We see each other and pace faster towards each other. And then we start running, and obviously I know who the person was. I hold his hand and we take flight. We fly and fly and fly out of the universe and then the person disappears and then I come tumbling earth-bound. And I fall into a big, red, pulpy tomato and keep slipping trying to come out, and then I fall onto a sunflower petal and dance madly. And then back to the beach. I followed the instructions but failed to undertstand the significance of the exercise. Basically, it was about unresolved issues with some close relatives, lost friends and family. But i don't know. The setting was so romantic that it didn't cross my mind. Anyhow, the tomato was supposed to be mother's womb, which also I couldn't quite fathom and the sunflower was some authority that we wished to challenge, which also got lost on me. Anyhow, that's that. I'm sure it had some deep inexplicable meaning, which i'll understand in some time.
But i still see a lot of promise in these, out of the ordinary sessions where you eat chocolates and do all these exercises to explore your relationships with people, nature and yourself.
But I'm an optimist anyway. Infact like one of the opening lines in a school debate said- I'm an unabashed romantic!
Later
Ya, then I had to deal with the dissertation committee as regards the grade loss because of not adhering to the deadlines but what they dont know is that I laugh at deadlines. Partly because I cant meet them and partly because you can't have deadlines for everything. We want to do our dissertations in our own time, in topics that interest us and topics that we can manage in the limited amount of time. We all started with some lofty ambitions, which were snubbed somewhere in the way. But musnt we really start indeed with a lot of ambitions.
Anyhow, we couldn't meet the deadlines regarding the submission of the dissertation premise and guide and therefore had to suffer the grade loss. Not that it matters so much but it's not about the grade-loss. I think they should just breeze through things such as dissertation, which is supposed to be personal, something that you really want to study and absorb completely in your own time. But these people issuing deadlines will not understand :(.
I seriously think, we must teach our children to go beyond formal education. I think it is more important to be cultured, to respond to nature and appreciate art and to be humble more than anything else. I was reading somewhere that our sense of aesthetics is also very skin-deep. So we could look at Taj Mahal with awe but not really think about what must've gone into making it, where from must Shah Jahan gotten the werewithal to build such a beautiful relic (which is a stupid thought ofcourse because he was the almighty Mughal King then so he must have everything he wanted). So often times we look at what is in front of us and not what is behind it. But uff I can't begin to preach.
And yes we had the Why Why session today with PAT. It is this unique, voluntary class wherefrom students can walk out or walk in anytime. There is no attendance and no exam. We can talk about anything under the sun. Basically we ask all these existential questions about why me, why you, why I, why love, the sense of touch, etc. etc.
We bare ourselves out to the fellow students, sharing our personal spaces. I have finally concluded it's not a bad thing actually. I mean, there's no harm in telling people about your life. Afterall there's much more to you than you could ever tell anyone in words. That's the thing, one could think that he knows everything about a certain person but still know that little. But this can be done without expecting the other person to bare himself out in return. Anyhow, it just brings out how different everyone is.
Ya so, I shut my eyes, and I was walking alone on a beach, and walking and walking. I could feel the the soft and coarse, white and brown, wet and dry sand between my toes. I walked along the beach, smelling the saltness of the sea and the beach. I walked and walked and see another human being on the beach. We see each other and pace faster towards each other. And then we start running, and obviously I know who the person was. I hold his hand and we take flight. We fly and fly and fly out of the universe and then the person disappears and then I come tumbling earth-bound. And I fall into a big, red, pulpy tomato and keep slipping trying to come out, and then I fall onto a sunflower petal and dance madly. And then back to the beach. I followed the instructions but failed to undertstand the significance of the exercise. Basically, it was about unresolved issues with some close relatives, lost friends and family. But i don't know. The setting was so romantic that it didn't cross my mind. Anyhow, the tomato was supposed to be mother's womb, which also I couldn't quite fathom and the sunflower was some authority that we wished to challenge, which also got lost on me. Anyhow, that's that. I'm sure it had some deep inexplicable meaning, which i'll understand in some time.
But i still see a lot of promise in these, out of the ordinary sessions where you eat chocolates and do all these exercises to explore your relationships with people, nature and yourself.
But I'm an optimist anyway. Infact like one of the opening lines in a school debate said- I'm an unabashed romantic!
Later
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
exam tomorrow!
One of the most fundamental truths is that when we sleep more and more, we want to sleep more and more. Since I slept ample last night, I wanted to keep sleeping today. We don't have many classes these days. But tomorrow we have one of our final exams on Marketing Strategy.
Not that I know a lot of it, not that I have understood much in the class, i mean i did understand some things, but did not understand the relevance of those things so much. So ya there are a slew of management terms and jargon that Im going to use such as 'unlocking customer value', product innovation, differentiation, positioning, segmentation, brand preference, loyalty and all that ****.
So ya here also, we end up pandering to our professor's need to be told somethings and those things only. In the past year, we have tried to force-fit some cases into models and concepts which hasn't been of much avail. The few people who had faith in studying marketing tools and concepts also have developed this very thick distaste for them. So much so, that some people even opted out of the course, an illustration of the growing antipathy for it, accepting a 'D' grade in return. That's the thing, with these subjects, people have also stopped caring about grades. Some people still do but certainly much less than they ever did. Anyhow, grades don't matter so much anyway.
These days average performers fear performing well much more than good performers fear performing worse :)
So even though I have an exam tomorrow and I slept in the afternoon, I'm still not studying. Well, let me see how I perform without studying at all. And it's not like an experiment, I've done this many times before.
So it would have turned into a 'me-too' day, but MTV came to our campus to check out our campus. So in the evening when we went to the mess, we see Cyrus interviewing bunches of students. But we went ahead not-giving-so-much-of-a-****..And while I was molesting my samosas a lady came and asked us if we (me and two of my friends) were ok answering some basic questions on MICA.. Ofcourse, we said ok cause we did give some ****. Ya so Cyrus came and asked us some very answerable but unanswerable questions to which we gave some very stupid answers. But it's MTV, and MTV and stupidity always sit together.
Anyhow, I hadn't had a bath for a long time (i'm not going to say how long), and just got up from sleep so it is sure going to be a frightful thing on MTV, unless they decide to scrap the footage altogether.
And then I had the most amazing veg biriyani in the mess. If one can keep good relations with the mess-people or one can be Bengali, they can give you curd, fried and coloured onion crisps and especially cut cucumbers and tomatoes for you.
I dont have much time now. Have to rummage some of the course material out of the mess in my cupboard.
Later
Not that I know a lot of it, not that I have understood much in the class, i mean i did understand some things, but did not understand the relevance of those things so much. So ya there are a slew of management terms and jargon that Im going to use such as 'unlocking customer value', product innovation, differentiation, positioning, segmentation, brand preference, loyalty and all that ****.
So ya here also, we end up pandering to our professor's need to be told somethings and those things only. In the past year, we have tried to force-fit some cases into models and concepts which hasn't been of much avail. The few people who had faith in studying marketing tools and concepts also have developed this very thick distaste for them. So much so, that some people even opted out of the course, an illustration of the growing antipathy for it, accepting a 'D' grade in return. That's the thing, with these subjects, people have also stopped caring about grades. Some people still do but certainly much less than they ever did. Anyhow, grades don't matter so much anyway.
These days average performers fear performing well much more than good performers fear performing worse :)
So even though I have an exam tomorrow and I slept in the afternoon, I'm still not studying. Well, let me see how I perform without studying at all. And it's not like an experiment, I've done this many times before.
So it would have turned into a 'me-too' day, but MTV came to our campus to check out our campus. So in the evening when we went to the mess, we see Cyrus interviewing bunches of students. But we went ahead not-giving-so-much-of-a-****..And while I was molesting my samosas a lady came and asked us if we (me and two of my friends) were ok answering some basic questions on MICA.. Ofcourse, we said ok cause we did give some ****. Ya so Cyrus came and asked us some very answerable but unanswerable questions to which we gave some very stupid answers. But it's MTV, and MTV and stupidity always sit together.
Anyhow, I hadn't had a bath for a long time (i'm not going to say how long), and just got up from sleep so it is sure going to be a frightful thing on MTV, unless they decide to scrap the footage altogether.
And then I had the most amazing veg biriyani in the mess. If one can keep good relations with the mess-people or one can be Bengali, they can give you curd, fried and coloured onion crisps and especially cut cucumbers and tomatoes for you.
I dont have much time now. Have to rummage some of the course material out of the mess in my cupboard.
Later
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