In the middle of the day, when I have just so much more than enough to handle, I'm writing. It's because there are so many things in my head, it's better if i just put pen to paper, or finger to board and deep-six them. They're not worth keeping in the head for too long, nor will they stay too long. That's the thing. Writing relieves your mind, atleast mine for some time. Then in order to keep them with me a little longer, I dont keep ruminating it.
Anyhow, it's the D day. the One on which I leave for my rurals. But right now Im not thinking about how it's going to be. Infact there are a flurry of things that need done before that. That's keeping me preoccupied. There's a stupid literature review which my guide says is like an essay. There are no quotes et al. It's like an essay. Anyhow, i'll give it a little something and give it back.
The thing is, it's very important to package things really really well. I mean, your strait-laced things don't work at all. Weave your story around what you want to say, and make it compelling and it'll be told. For me, I don't make things clear enough to people that I believe in what I'm doing, therefore it becomes so easy for anyone to rebuff it. Anyhow, tell your story, and you'll do well. Zoo also tells me that.
Ya, so I stayed back for these classes which were going to be taken by a brilliant faculty from the industry. But he diidn't show up, and now both me and Nerdy feel so short-changed. I because Id wanted to hear his voice, his STORY, and she wanted to enjoy her holidays. Ofcourse neither of us got what we'd wanted. It's funny how it led to such a lose-lose situation. That is why I think it's all jinxed.
Anyway, the faculty that came in his place is sooo beautiful. I mean she's not beautiful beautiful but she's so beautiful. Every word she says is so melifluous. It's almost like music. It's people like her that make me love words so much. Seriously, I love words, words that are spoken so beautifully. She comes from BIG FM, and tells her story. She talks about radio as a medium so passionately. How it is such a strong, engaging, interactive medium that connects its audience up-close. Something that television hasn't achieved. And television is far-reaching. But radio's not a reach story. it's about the intimacy story.
Ya, so that's about BIG, but more about her. She reminds me so much of one of my favourite French teachers, who used to have a killer of a smile and one graceful woman she is.
She distributed chocolates to people who answered her. I didn't get any but the guys behind me did. I asked if they had left any, but they didn't and offered the wrapper. It's one of the most annoying things one could come across. Being offered a wrapper when ask for a chocolate. I mean not getting chocolate is bad enough.
Then I read a little about creative, design cities and how it's all about cities and not about states or countries any more. All cities are competing for each other. While they are looking for some heady development, there are a host of problems that make big and urban cities so bally unlivable. They're not pleasant anymore. So all about urban problems. So most of the attention goes on these issues rather than beautifying and planning a city out. But only yesterday I was talking to someone about what makes a city 'modern'. But could not really think of what makes it. If i'd read this article yesterday, maybe i could have contributed more. But it always happens right. Exactly after the GD where you didn't know what 'euthanasia' was, you read the article about the woman who was suffering so much (I forget her name). Somethings I think never go the way you want them to. So when you want to be seen as a certain person, or when you want your friends to behave a certain way in front of your first crush in school or something, it'll never never turn out like that. It leaves everyone embarrassed. Anyhow...
Ya anyhow, that's done. I will update the blog, once there is more I can think of. Mostly for some days I may not be able to write for the work and the other setting I'm in. So I pray forgive me. :D
Later
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
the child's begun to kick!
O, it's the first time that my blog's seeing the light of day.. I mean it's the first time i'm writing in the day. It's because, I couldn't write yesterday for a little bit of work and all, and then I thought it's not fair to my fans :) hehe.
Anyhow there's lots going in my head, but little in action. I mean, when people ask me if my literature review for dissertation's started I say, yes it has, it has started to worry me :). That's the first step for any project, then I begin to research extensively and then I write things and compile them. For me, the largest chunk is to prune my compilation :) Funny! Aint it?
Ya so finally, I spoke to a prof, who gave me some idea, some direction for the rationale of my dissertation. I mean, what about climate change did I want to document. I didnt' know that and then it'd be mighty difficult for me to defend the topic only.
Anyhow, I decided I'd put a national context to it. I mean, we all know what global warming and climate change are but how can this awareness turn into action is what I want to write about. I mean how can Indians begin to show concern through action in their daily lives. For that, I'll have to do a communication audit of the various mediums used so far to communicate the concerns, some technical stuff such as carbon footprint, carbon sequestration, tradable quotas of carbon, carbon sinks, greenhouse effects, etc. etc.
Anyhow, i'll do that. But more than that, there's a bigger, more tempting dish in my plate. It's my little one, the rural project. I'm finally going to Bikaner and Sri Dungargarh with Nerdy. Actually Fatehpur is also very close by. That's where my dad's from. We've been there a couple of times, only too see our once-a-beautiful haveli fall to ruins and plundered many times over. But now I think few people know who it belongs to. I think it belongs to hundreds of descendants. Im madly looking forward to it. We're just the two of us and i'm sure it's going to be fun. I have decided to do so many things. Since I'm already due for a make-over, I'll get some piercings done. I was thinking of a tattoo but I decided I don't like the permanence about it. I was speaking to a friend, who's finally going in for a tattoo, a long one but is indecisivee about the left or the right shoulder. She was telling me, that she wants some permanence. Something that'll stick around with her. She drew an analogy between marriage and tattoos. It seems it's very painful to get into and out of both of them. But if it's left like on its own, it'll stay. I think it made sense for her because lots been happening with her anyway, so maybe a tattoo will help her snap out of the tangle.
So anyhow, I'll get my upper ears pierced if it's not painful. And then I'll lug myself with lots of silver, if it's not too expensive. And then I'll wear what these Rajputs wear, the 'Kanchli Kurtas', much like ghaghra chunnis only, except they wear it day-to-day also. And then with those beautiful attires, waltz around in the bare landscapes of Rajasthan. We'll speak to people in rural villages and click lots of pictures.
After that, I think i'll go to Jodhpur, where my nani stays. And then off to Bbay, where I catch up with Zoo, who's mooning over a lot these days. She's awfully busy ofcourse what with the singing class, work and acting workshop. And then we'll party and party and party.
Anyhow, this happens a lot to me. As the final days of a term, close in on me, I become much more dreamy and spaced out. I just think a lot! So my vacation is keeping me pre-occupied. So help me work someone please!!
O, the little room where I shacked up every day in college, with a host of golden daffodils (read a little mouse, various colors of green lizards and occasional frogs) have all been taken out now. The carpenters came and gave my room bit of job. So now it's peaceful and sound sleeping here.
Later
Anyhow there's lots going in my head, but little in action. I mean, when people ask me if my literature review for dissertation's started I say, yes it has, it has started to worry me :). That's the first step for any project, then I begin to research extensively and then I write things and compile them. For me, the largest chunk is to prune my compilation :) Funny! Aint it?
Ya so finally, I spoke to a prof, who gave me some idea, some direction for the rationale of my dissertation. I mean, what about climate change did I want to document. I didnt' know that and then it'd be mighty difficult for me to defend the topic only.
Anyhow, I decided I'd put a national context to it. I mean, we all know what global warming and climate change are but how can this awareness turn into action is what I want to write about. I mean how can Indians begin to show concern through action in their daily lives. For that, I'll have to do a communication audit of the various mediums used so far to communicate the concerns, some technical stuff such as carbon footprint, carbon sequestration, tradable quotas of carbon, carbon sinks, greenhouse effects, etc. etc.
Anyhow, i'll do that. But more than that, there's a bigger, more tempting dish in my plate. It's my little one, the rural project. I'm finally going to Bikaner and Sri Dungargarh with Nerdy. Actually Fatehpur is also very close by. That's where my dad's from. We've been there a couple of times, only too see our once-a-beautiful haveli fall to ruins and plundered many times over. But now I think few people know who it belongs to. I think it belongs to hundreds of descendants. Im madly looking forward to it. We're just the two of us and i'm sure it's going to be fun. I have decided to do so many things. Since I'm already due for a make-over, I'll get some piercings done. I was thinking of a tattoo but I decided I don't like the permanence about it. I was speaking to a friend, who's finally going in for a tattoo, a long one but is indecisivee about the left or the right shoulder. She was telling me, that she wants some permanence. Something that'll stick around with her. She drew an analogy between marriage and tattoos. It seems it's very painful to get into and out of both of them. But if it's left like on its own, it'll stay. I think it made sense for her because lots been happening with her anyway, so maybe a tattoo will help her snap out of the tangle.
So anyhow, I'll get my upper ears pierced if it's not painful. And then I'll lug myself with lots of silver, if it's not too expensive. And then I'll wear what these Rajputs wear, the 'Kanchli Kurtas', much like ghaghra chunnis only, except they wear it day-to-day also. And then with those beautiful attires, waltz around in the bare landscapes of Rajasthan. We'll speak to people in rural villages and click lots of pictures.
After that, I think i'll go to Jodhpur, where my nani stays. And then off to Bbay, where I catch up with Zoo, who's mooning over a lot these days. She's awfully busy ofcourse what with the singing class, work and acting workshop. And then we'll party and party and party.
Anyhow, this happens a lot to me. As the final days of a term, close in on me, I become much more dreamy and spaced out. I just think a lot! So my vacation is keeping me pre-occupied. So help me work someone please!!
O, the little room where I shacked up every day in college, with a host of golden daffodils (read a little mouse, various colors of green lizards and occasional frogs) have all been taken out now. The carpenters came and gave my room bit of job. So now it's peaceful and sound sleeping here.
Later
Monday, September 22, 2008
there's got to be something!
It seems like a long time since I wrote last. The thing is there's been a lot of classes to attend, and when I come back, there are either assignments to do or I feel extremely tired and sleepy.
Ya, my 4th term is officially come to an end. I still have a few classes left, but they are not going to be graded. And ofcourse I have a literature review left for my dissertation. Oh God, if there was one thing that you could give me right now, should be some clarity. I am so horribly confused about things that it's no one's business.
For eg. I still havnt been able to narrow down my focus in 'Climate change, global warming, carbon footprint, emissions, auto and political lobbies, 'An Inconvenient Truth', 'The 11th Hour', etc. etc. The problem is the topic is so vast, and a lot has already been done and studied so there are tomes and tomes to read and lots to know. Anyhow, I think I should begin tomorrow. Today doesn't seem like a very good one.
In the morning today, through the classes, I was wondering if it would be better to kiss it good bye for the horrible pain or of an overdose of pain-killers. And while I was thinking, the pain slowly took the edge off. You know there is something about some days. They are just not the happiest ones you have. So ya, there was the stomach ache and then there was Ambi Pur presentation for Brand management, which also bombed. Infact we have degenerated so badly as students, that at a point of time I actually said- 'Make relevant products for relevant people' as written by one of the fellow students, the same one who said that in the long run, Ambi Pur should look at children and teenagers.
Anyhow, my term's come to an end. And I am extremely happy about it. Despite going home, I felt I need a break. I think it's got something to do with classes but not entirely to do with that. Ya so there was something in the day, which wasn't exactly very pleasant.
I tried to play badminton in the evening and today more than anytime else I felt angry with myself forsticking with the game for so long and not being able to learn much. There were shots after shots, coming straight to my body that i could not handle, and a fellow student, who is surely not very pleasant could not make himself win. He said- 'You don't duck at the right time, so it's not right for you to play in front, and I've had to play all your shots', after which ofcourse I felt a certain burst of anger, which I think did spur me to do better. Anyhow, no one, even the best players don't deserve to talk like that. By the way, the way people play doubles in any sport such as Badminton can tell you a world about any person. I've gotten insights about people all the time while they're playing with me. And since I know this, I try not to say much while I play.
Anyhow, this done with all the pain and all the accusation, I spoke to some friends. All really good friends. But only friends after all. It's funny how I grew up so suddenly. Till some time back I used to feel problems about people, about close people and relationships could never be real. But everything that cinema or t.v lead us to believe, I feel now is true to an extent. They reflect reality as much as they construct it. There are things that could jeopardize years of well-nurtured relationships, but still they are just so worth it. A jilted friend may never come round, but just for your own sake, you've got to do something that makes you happier and for maybe that friend's sake, be honest to her, and give her time to make peace and if she doesn't forgive then you've got to forget. Anyhow, it's really complex.
It just leads to hurried hang-ups.
But then I spoke to an old friend and an old friend. He annoys and he advises and annoys and advises. But one thing I know is that there are roles that people play brilliantly, and others they flounder in so completely. So it's best to have only a few people play more than one role. For eg. Both Zoo and Minkie are great friends also. Debo's also my critic, a rather ruthless one.
Anyhow I'll do some important things like meeting my guides for dissertation and all. I hope tomorrow is brilliant. Ofcourse days are also brilliant, they are bright and make cats and dogs and people look much less scary.
Later
Ya, my 4th term is officially come to an end. I still have a few classes left, but they are not going to be graded. And ofcourse I have a literature review left for my dissertation. Oh God, if there was one thing that you could give me right now, should be some clarity. I am so horribly confused about things that it's no one's business.
For eg. I still havnt been able to narrow down my focus in 'Climate change, global warming, carbon footprint, emissions, auto and political lobbies, 'An Inconvenient Truth', 'The 11th Hour', etc. etc. The problem is the topic is so vast, and a lot has already been done and studied so there are tomes and tomes to read and lots to know. Anyhow, I think I should begin tomorrow. Today doesn't seem like a very good one.
In the morning today, through the classes, I was wondering if it would be better to kiss it good bye for the horrible pain or of an overdose of pain-killers. And while I was thinking, the pain slowly took the edge off. You know there is something about some days. They are just not the happiest ones you have. So ya, there was the stomach ache and then there was Ambi Pur presentation for Brand management, which also bombed. Infact we have degenerated so badly as students, that at a point of time I actually said- 'Make relevant products for relevant people' as written by one of the fellow students, the same one who said that in the long run, Ambi Pur should look at children and teenagers.
Anyhow, my term's come to an end. And I am extremely happy about it. Despite going home, I felt I need a break. I think it's got something to do with classes but not entirely to do with that. Ya so there was something in the day, which wasn't exactly very pleasant.
I tried to play badminton in the evening and today more than anytime else I felt angry with myself forsticking with the game for so long and not being able to learn much. There were shots after shots, coming straight to my body that i could not handle, and a fellow student, who is surely not very pleasant could not make himself win. He said- 'You don't duck at the right time, so it's not right for you to play in front, and I've had to play all your shots', after which ofcourse I felt a certain burst of anger, which I think did spur me to do better. Anyhow, no one, even the best players don't deserve to talk like that. By the way, the way people play doubles in any sport such as Badminton can tell you a world about any person. I've gotten insights about people all the time while they're playing with me. And since I know this, I try not to say much while I play.
Anyhow, this done with all the pain and all the accusation, I spoke to some friends. All really good friends. But only friends after all. It's funny how I grew up so suddenly. Till some time back I used to feel problems about people, about close people and relationships could never be real. But everything that cinema or t.v lead us to believe, I feel now is true to an extent. They reflect reality as much as they construct it. There are things that could jeopardize years of well-nurtured relationships, but still they are just so worth it. A jilted friend may never come round, but just for your own sake, you've got to do something that makes you happier and for maybe that friend's sake, be honest to her, and give her time to make peace and if she doesn't forgive then you've got to forget. Anyhow, it's really complex.
It just leads to hurried hang-ups.
But then I spoke to an old friend and an old friend. He annoys and he advises and annoys and advises. But one thing I know is that there are roles that people play brilliantly, and others they flounder in so completely. So it's best to have only a few people play more than one role. For eg. Both Zoo and Minkie are great friends also. Debo's also my critic, a rather ruthless one.
Anyhow I'll do some important things like meeting my guides for dissertation and all. I hope tomorrow is brilliant. Ofcourse days are also brilliant, they are bright and make cats and dogs and people look much less scary.
Later
Friday, September 19, 2008
zzzzz!
i think i'll spare myself and everyone today. nothing much to write.
I attended class, simply because I wanted to, and I didn't have to. That complex that I have. Oh by the way I'm a pretty sick child. As a kid I used to love even numbers, and then I started to like odd numbers and then I just like very few numbers. So till the count for anything (and it could be anything under the sun) reaches that number, I have to continue doing it.
I am superstitious in an extremely funny way. I have the bolt complex, so if in the middle of the night I feel I may not have locked my door, I have to get up and go find out, even though I don't forget too often to close my door.
I have the written word complex. I love to write things down, so I dont forget them. I mean, I think human memory is not trusty enough, and so it's important to write things down, because there is an amount of permanence about the written word. Infact, I dont think I ever ever go back to my extensive notes, but I still keep writing like Forrest keeps running!
I also have this fetish to store things up. So if it is a late bill, which has long been paid and settled, i'll still keep it thinking i might need it sometime in the future. At home, I used to stack newspapers, heaps after heaps, without letting my mom get rid of them, thinking I would read them sometime later. I keep forwards and words-of-the-day in my mailbox forever (until Nerdy proposed to clean it) because I dont read them everywhere, and I might read and learn them once im older and perhaps more free. But I doubt if that also will happen, because I may not learn to let go even when I'm older and wiser :)
And ofcourse I am an extreme, and most acute case of 'somnia'. So I have to sleep very very badly. Good night
Later
I attended class, simply because I wanted to, and I didn't have to. That complex that I have. Oh by the way I'm a pretty sick child. As a kid I used to love even numbers, and then I started to like odd numbers and then I just like very few numbers. So till the count for anything (and it could be anything under the sun) reaches that number, I have to continue doing it.
I am superstitious in an extremely funny way. I have the bolt complex, so if in the middle of the night I feel I may not have locked my door, I have to get up and go find out, even though I don't forget too often to close my door.
I have the written word complex. I love to write things down, so I dont forget them. I mean, I think human memory is not trusty enough, and so it's important to write things down, because there is an amount of permanence about the written word. Infact, I dont think I ever ever go back to my extensive notes, but I still keep writing like Forrest keeps running!
I also have this fetish to store things up. So if it is a late bill, which has long been paid and settled, i'll still keep it thinking i might need it sometime in the future. At home, I used to stack newspapers, heaps after heaps, without letting my mom get rid of them, thinking I would read them sometime later. I keep forwards and words-of-the-day in my mailbox forever (until Nerdy proposed to clean it) because I dont read them everywhere, and I might read and learn them once im older and perhaps more free. But I doubt if that also will happen, because I may not learn to let go even when I'm older and wiser :)
And ofcourse I am an extreme, and most acute case of 'somnia'. So I have to sleep very very badly. Good night
Later
Thursday, September 18, 2008
a state of bafflement!
i've perhaps not been so baffled about things in a long time. Or i have been but not about a very important thing, or about something that didnt matter so much. But this does. As far as the rural studies are concerned, everything around me is in a state of flux. There are soo many places to visit, some people to go with but the dates are fixed. These dates, they are my biggest problem. Why are they so inflexible. Weeks and months and years give us much more time right!
So anyhow, me and Nerdy just realized that we have huge break facing us, because we dont have those electives and I think home beckons us. But there are also a lot of other things. Dissertation- remember the big fat burden I keep cribbing about. So the literature review is due very soon. So i'll have to stay back for that. Besides, that inexplicable bug inside me that urges me to attend many classes. Why can't I let go??? Am I aging or something??
So ya deadline in an hour and a half about the place and the people and dates when we're going, but have no clue about any. But no one need worry. Everyone will do his or her thing, according to what suits him/her best. Since I've been a bag of beans for Rajasthan, I think I will go there only. I'll pull someone along if nothing works out.
Anyhow, apart from this, Consumer Insight Mining test was good fun. I submitted it exactly 5 minutes before the deadline. So that be sorted. Then I saw this really good play directed by our theater society- Sankalp which promises to take theater to newer heights in my college. It was an adaptation by one of Woody Allen's 'God', which keeps asking what is reality. It was called 'The End' and one should look at a classic ending and then write backwards to get an end, a middle and a beginning. But I'm not sure. Not in the sense of challenging it, I'm just not sure.
And by the way, a little bit of some really really good music can bring that much needed salience into the day. And today Yann Tiersen is all that I seem to be inspired by. Perhaps, someday in the future I will remember that the day when so many other things were happening, Yann Tiersen was constant.
Anyhow, music is therapeutic. But one can't look at music and fragrance with any detachment. I can't seem to isolate them from the experiences that they were a part of too. So Nike and Dove perfumes always remind me of people. The mango lip balm reminds me of a place and 'O humdum Suniyo Re' reminds me of 2003 World Cup, when it was 'plum'!
So that's it now, nothing very profound to say :) I think I'll sleep and have a good and peaceful day tomorrow.
Later
So anyhow, me and Nerdy just realized that we have huge break facing us, because we dont have those electives and I think home beckons us. But there are also a lot of other things. Dissertation- remember the big fat burden I keep cribbing about. So the literature review is due very soon. So i'll have to stay back for that. Besides, that inexplicable bug inside me that urges me to attend many classes. Why can't I let go??? Am I aging or something??
So ya deadline in an hour and a half about the place and the people and dates when we're going, but have no clue about any. But no one need worry. Everyone will do his or her thing, according to what suits him/her best. Since I've been a bag of beans for Rajasthan, I think I will go there only. I'll pull someone along if nothing works out.
Anyhow, apart from this, Consumer Insight Mining test was good fun. I submitted it exactly 5 minutes before the deadline. So that be sorted. Then I saw this really good play directed by our theater society- Sankalp which promises to take theater to newer heights in my college. It was an adaptation by one of Woody Allen's 'God', which keeps asking what is reality. It was called 'The End' and one should look at a classic ending and then write backwards to get an end, a middle and a beginning. But I'm not sure. Not in the sense of challenging it, I'm just not sure.
And by the way, a little bit of some really really good music can bring that much needed salience into the day. And today Yann Tiersen is all that I seem to be inspired by. Perhaps, someday in the future I will remember that the day when so many other things were happening, Yann Tiersen was constant.
Anyhow, music is therapeutic. But one can't look at music and fragrance with any detachment. I can't seem to isolate them from the experiences that they were a part of too. So Nike and Dove perfumes always remind me of people. The mango lip balm reminds me of a place and 'O humdum Suniyo Re' reminds me of 2003 World Cup, when it was 'plum'!
So that's it now, nothing very profound to say :) I think I'll sleep and have a good and peaceful day tomorrow.
Later
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Why Why and more!
i took my Marketing Strategy exam and it wasnt a very big surprise that I didn't think I did very well. Not only was it long, but one had to keep looking at some 'strategic orientations' in the Howard cases, which have 'Do not copy' written all over them, which distracts me quite a lot.
Ya, then I had to deal with the dissertation committee as regards the grade loss because of not adhering to the deadlines but what they dont know is that I laugh at deadlines. Partly because I cant meet them and partly because you can't have deadlines for everything. We want to do our dissertations in our own time, in topics that interest us and topics that we can manage in the limited amount of time. We all started with some lofty ambitions, which were snubbed somewhere in the way. But musnt we really start indeed with a lot of ambitions.
Anyhow, we couldn't meet the deadlines regarding the submission of the dissertation premise and guide and therefore had to suffer the grade loss. Not that it matters so much but it's not about the grade-loss. I think they should just breeze through things such as dissertation, which is supposed to be personal, something that you really want to study and absorb completely in your own time. But these people issuing deadlines will not understand :(.
I seriously think, we must teach our children to go beyond formal education. I think it is more important to be cultured, to respond to nature and appreciate art and to be humble more than anything else. I was reading somewhere that our sense of aesthetics is also very skin-deep. So we could look at Taj Mahal with awe but not really think about what must've gone into making it, where from must Shah Jahan gotten the werewithal to build such a beautiful relic (which is a stupid thought ofcourse because he was the almighty Mughal King then so he must have everything he wanted). So often times we look at what is in front of us and not what is behind it. But uff I can't begin to preach.
And yes we had the Why Why session today with PAT. It is this unique, voluntary class wherefrom students can walk out or walk in anytime. There is no attendance and no exam. We can talk about anything under the sun. Basically we ask all these existential questions about why me, why you, why I, why love, the sense of touch, etc. etc.
We bare ourselves out to the fellow students, sharing our personal spaces. I have finally concluded it's not a bad thing actually. I mean, there's no harm in telling people about your life. Afterall there's much more to you than you could ever tell anyone in words. That's the thing, one could think that he knows everything about a certain person but still know that little. But this can be done without expecting the other person to bare himself out in return. Anyhow, it just brings out how different everyone is.
Ya so, I shut my eyes, and I was walking alone on a beach, and walking and walking. I could feel the the soft and coarse, white and brown, wet and dry sand between my toes. I walked along the beach, smelling the saltness of the sea and the beach. I walked and walked and see another human being on the beach. We see each other and pace faster towards each other. And then we start running, and obviously I know who the person was. I hold his hand and we take flight. We fly and fly and fly out of the universe and then the person disappears and then I come tumbling earth-bound. And I fall into a big, red, pulpy tomato and keep slipping trying to come out, and then I fall onto a sunflower petal and dance madly. And then back to the beach. I followed the instructions but failed to undertstand the significance of the exercise. Basically, it was about unresolved issues with some close relatives, lost friends and family. But i don't know. The setting was so romantic that it didn't cross my mind. Anyhow, the tomato was supposed to be mother's womb, which also I couldn't quite fathom and the sunflower was some authority that we wished to challenge, which also got lost on me. Anyhow, that's that. I'm sure it had some deep inexplicable meaning, which i'll understand in some time.
But i still see a lot of promise in these, out of the ordinary sessions where you eat chocolates and do all these exercises to explore your relationships with people, nature and yourself.
But I'm an optimist anyway. Infact like one of the opening lines in a school debate said- I'm an unabashed romantic!
Later
Ya, then I had to deal with the dissertation committee as regards the grade loss because of not adhering to the deadlines but what they dont know is that I laugh at deadlines. Partly because I cant meet them and partly because you can't have deadlines for everything. We want to do our dissertations in our own time, in topics that interest us and topics that we can manage in the limited amount of time. We all started with some lofty ambitions, which were snubbed somewhere in the way. But musnt we really start indeed with a lot of ambitions.
Anyhow, we couldn't meet the deadlines regarding the submission of the dissertation premise and guide and therefore had to suffer the grade loss. Not that it matters so much but it's not about the grade-loss. I think they should just breeze through things such as dissertation, which is supposed to be personal, something that you really want to study and absorb completely in your own time. But these people issuing deadlines will not understand :(.
I seriously think, we must teach our children to go beyond formal education. I think it is more important to be cultured, to respond to nature and appreciate art and to be humble more than anything else. I was reading somewhere that our sense of aesthetics is also very skin-deep. So we could look at Taj Mahal with awe but not really think about what must've gone into making it, where from must Shah Jahan gotten the werewithal to build such a beautiful relic (which is a stupid thought ofcourse because he was the almighty Mughal King then so he must have everything he wanted). So often times we look at what is in front of us and not what is behind it. But uff I can't begin to preach.
And yes we had the Why Why session today with PAT. It is this unique, voluntary class wherefrom students can walk out or walk in anytime. There is no attendance and no exam. We can talk about anything under the sun. Basically we ask all these existential questions about why me, why you, why I, why love, the sense of touch, etc. etc.
We bare ourselves out to the fellow students, sharing our personal spaces. I have finally concluded it's not a bad thing actually. I mean, there's no harm in telling people about your life. Afterall there's much more to you than you could ever tell anyone in words. That's the thing, one could think that he knows everything about a certain person but still know that little. But this can be done without expecting the other person to bare himself out in return. Anyhow, it just brings out how different everyone is.
Ya so, I shut my eyes, and I was walking alone on a beach, and walking and walking. I could feel the the soft and coarse, white and brown, wet and dry sand between my toes. I walked along the beach, smelling the saltness of the sea and the beach. I walked and walked and see another human being on the beach. We see each other and pace faster towards each other. And then we start running, and obviously I know who the person was. I hold his hand and we take flight. We fly and fly and fly out of the universe and then the person disappears and then I come tumbling earth-bound. And I fall into a big, red, pulpy tomato and keep slipping trying to come out, and then I fall onto a sunflower petal and dance madly. And then back to the beach. I followed the instructions but failed to undertstand the significance of the exercise. Basically, it was about unresolved issues with some close relatives, lost friends and family. But i don't know. The setting was so romantic that it didn't cross my mind. Anyhow, the tomato was supposed to be mother's womb, which also I couldn't quite fathom and the sunflower was some authority that we wished to challenge, which also got lost on me. Anyhow, that's that. I'm sure it had some deep inexplicable meaning, which i'll understand in some time.
But i still see a lot of promise in these, out of the ordinary sessions where you eat chocolates and do all these exercises to explore your relationships with people, nature and yourself.
But I'm an optimist anyway. Infact like one of the opening lines in a school debate said- I'm an unabashed romantic!
Later
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
exam tomorrow!
One of the most fundamental truths is that when we sleep more and more, we want to sleep more and more. Since I slept ample last night, I wanted to keep sleeping today. We don't have many classes these days. But tomorrow we have one of our final exams on Marketing Strategy.
Not that I know a lot of it, not that I have understood much in the class, i mean i did understand some things, but did not understand the relevance of those things so much. So ya there are a slew of management terms and jargon that Im going to use such as 'unlocking customer value', product innovation, differentiation, positioning, segmentation, brand preference, loyalty and all that ****.
So ya here also, we end up pandering to our professor's need to be told somethings and those things only. In the past year, we have tried to force-fit some cases into models and concepts which hasn't been of much avail. The few people who had faith in studying marketing tools and concepts also have developed this very thick distaste for them. So much so, that some people even opted out of the course, an illustration of the growing antipathy for it, accepting a 'D' grade in return. That's the thing, with these subjects, people have also stopped caring about grades. Some people still do but certainly much less than they ever did. Anyhow, grades don't matter so much anyway.
These days average performers fear performing well much more than good performers fear performing worse :)
So even though I have an exam tomorrow and I slept in the afternoon, I'm still not studying. Well, let me see how I perform without studying at all. And it's not like an experiment, I've done this many times before.
So it would have turned into a 'me-too' day, but MTV came to our campus to check out our campus. So in the evening when we went to the mess, we see Cyrus interviewing bunches of students. But we went ahead not-giving-so-much-of-a-****..And while I was molesting my samosas a lady came and asked us if we (me and two of my friends) were ok answering some basic questions on MICA.. Ofcourse, we said ok cause we did give some ****. Ya so Cyrus came and asked us some very answerable but unanswerable questions to which we gave some very stupid answers. But it's MTV, and MTV and stupidity always sit together.
Anyhow, I hadn't had a bath for a long time (i'm not going to say how long), and just got up from sleep so it is sure going to be a frightful thing on MTV, unless they decide to scrap the footage altogether.
And then I had the most amazing veg biriyani in the mess. If one can keep good relations with the mess-people or one can be Bengali, they can give you curd, fried and coloured onion crisps and especially cut cucumbers and tomatoes for you.
I dont have much time now. Have to rummage some of the course material out of the mess in my cupboard.
Later
Not that I know a lot of it, not that I have understood much in the class, i mean i did understand some things, but did not understand the relevance of those things so much. So ya there are a slew of management terms and jargon that Im going to use such as 'unlocking customer value', product innovation, differentiation, positioning, segmentation, brand preference, loyalty and all that ****.
So ya here also, we end up pandering to our professor's need to be told somethings and those things only. In the past year, we have tried to force-fit some cases into models and concepts which hasn't been of much avail. The few people who had faith in studying marketing tools and concepts also have developed this very thick distaste for them. So much so, that some people even opted out of the course, an illustration of the growing antipathy for it, accepting a 'D' grade in return. That's the thing, with these subjects, people have also stopped caring about grades. Some people still do but certainly much less than they ever did. Anyhow, grades don't matter so much anyway.
These days average performers fear performing well much more than good performers fear performing worse :)
So even though I have an exam tomorrow and I slept in the afternoon, I'm still not studying. Well, let me see how I perform without studying at all. And it's not like an experiment, I've done this many times before.
So it would have turned into a 'me-too' day, but MTV came to our campus to check out our campus. So in the evening when we went to the mess, we see Cyrus interviewing bunches of students. But we went ahead not-giving-so-much-of-a-****..And while I was molesting my samosas a lady came and asked us if we (me and two of my friends) were ok answering some basic questions on MICA.. Ofcourse, we said ok cause we did give some ****. Ya so Cyrus came and asked us some very answerable but unanswerable questions to which we gave some very stupid answers. But it's MTV, and MTV and stupidity always sit together.
Anyhow, I hadn't had a bath for a long time (i'm not going to say how long), and just got up from sleep so it is sure going to be a frightful thing on MTV, unless they decide to scrap the footage altogether.
And then I had the most amazing veg biriyani in the mess. If one can keep good relations with the mess-people or one can be Bengali, they can give you curd, fried and coloured onion crisps and especially cut cucumbers and tomatoes for you.
I dont have much time now. Have to rummage some of the course material out of the mess in my cupboard.
Later
Monday, September 15, 2008
just another day!
Though I got up on the right side of the bed (there is only 1 side to get out from anyway in the small hole that I live in), the day was nothing like my other days. I mean, other days I have much more to do. Today I didn't do anything.
I got up from a really regular dream. I mean it was pretty everyday and boring. Infact I could have gone to sleep only in that dream. Had my breakfast, went for a class that wasn't mine. I mean it's not my elective but i wasnt sure about it. I have done this a lot in the past. I have forgotten the subjects that I'd taken from the bouquet (by the way, the bouquet has the same kind of flowers and they are all boring and repetitive) also because they sound the same, like branded entertainment and branded science et al. So I've had to go to these classes, find out if my name's there on the attendance sheet and figure out if I'd taken that elective or not. One can't imagine the no. of mornings I have wasted to go to the class only to find out this wasn't my class. Anyway, after repeated suggestions and advices I have now managed to find out about all my electives.
Ya so the 1 lecture I attended turned out to be really uninteresting. I came back, ferreted out somethings about my dissertation on global warming and climate change, but there is just SO MUCH online. So ya I came down to this topic also after a lot of thinking and unthinking and thinking. But it does really interest me. I mean it would really interest me to find out the implications, what are the different guilds that are likely to get affected such as the auto-lobby, what theme the political agendas such as that of Al Gore's play in this whole debate on energy resources between the developed and the developing countries.
I do know very very little on it, but Mathew says Seek the truth and truth will set you free. I think he is right and he's the one who egged me on to go ahead with this topic, even though the dissertation defense committee thought it wasn't relevant. Anyhow, how do they or I know what can or will not help me in my life. O I think they were talking about my career. So anyhow, these days, even when I dont have much to do, I have these very stupid deadlines for every leg of the dissertation which is absolutely outrageous because it's your baby and you're supposed to take time with it and not force things on it.
Ya, so having done that, I was just going to sleep for a bit when I went to the studio to record a little something on the violin for a friend. It sounded absolutely horrible. But in my defense, i played after a long time and I wasnt confident at all. Only if violins had frets and someone to tune them on campus. But anyhow, I also laughed and laughed because of the way I sounded. So anyhow, after my college I have decided 1 full year, Im going to learn to play the violin properly, dance odissi or bharatnatyam or something, go for a language class and then play in the night. Ya that is idyllic, but that's how I intend to make it. Hopefully I will have saved something to do all this.
Oh, I waited for the frog to go out of my damn room for such a long time. They are extremely funny, if they are facing south sitting on the door, ready to go out and if you prod them more to urge them to go even outer, they would panic and turn north and hop inside your room. So this happened twice and then I let it be. Finally it had to be picked by the hand and thrown out of Chandni (Ya, that's my house in my college, and it's funny but with time people just get used to it, just like everyone in my school got used to talking about Mr. Potty but made for a good laugh if we mentioned it out of the school circles)
Oh yes, important thing. Never play immediately after having food. or it could be mushrooms. But I would say food. It takes a toll on your stamina.
Oh yes, tomorrow Debo goes to college, first day...I hope it's nice. Infact I hope in the 4 years that he stays at home, he's able to find his calling. Lots of luck and best wishes!
Later
I got up from a really regular dream. I mean it was pretty everyday and boring. Infact I could have gone to sleep only in that dream. Had my breakfast, went for a class that wasn't mine. I mean it's not my elective but i wasnt sure about it. I have done this a lot in the past. I have forgotten the subjects that I'd taken from the bouquet (by the way, the bouquet has the same kind of flowers and they are all boring and repetitive) also because they sound the same, like branded entertainment and branded science et al. So I've had to go to these classes, find out if my name's there on the attendance sheet and figure out if I'd taken that elective or not. One can't imagine the no. of mornings I have wasted to go to the class only to find out this wasn't my class. Anyway, after repeated suggestions and advices I have now managed to find out about all my electives.
Ya so the 1 lecture I attended turned out to be really uninteresting. I came back, ferreted out somethings about my dissertation on global warming and climate change, but there is just SO MUCH online. So ya I came down to this topic also after a lot of thinking and unthinking and thinking. But it does really interest me. I mean it would really interest me to find out the implications, what are the different guilds that are likely to get affected such as the auto-lobby, what theme the political agendas such as that of Al Gore's play in this whole debate on energy resources between the developed and the developing countries.
I do know very very little on it, but Mathew says Seek the truth and truth will set you free. I think he is right and he's the one who egged me on to go ahead with this topic, even though the dissertation defense committee thought it wasn't relevant. Anyhow, how do they or I know what can or will not help me in my life. O I think they were talking about my career. So anyhow, these days, even when I dont have much to do, I have these very stupid deadlines for every leg of the dissertation which is absolutely outrageous because it's your baby and you're supposed to take time with it and not force things on it.
Ya, so having done that, I was just going to sleep for a bit when I went to the studio to record a little something on the violin for a friend. It sounded absolutely horrible. But in my defense, i played after a long time and I wasnt confident at all. Only if violins had frets and someone to tune them on campus. But anyhow, I also laughed and laughed because of the way I sounded. So anyhow, after my college I have decided 1 full year, Im going to learn to play the violin properly, dance odissi or bharatnatyam or something, go for a language class and then play in the night. Ya that is idyllic, but that's how I intend to make it. Hopefully I will have saved something to do all this.
Oh, I waited for the frog to go out of my damn room for such a long time. They are extremely funny, if they are facing south sitting on the door, ready to go out and if you prod them more to urge them to go even outer, they would panic and turn north and hop inside your room. So this happened twice and then I let it be. Finally it had to be picked by the hand and thrown out of Chandni (Ya, that's my house in my college, and it's funny but with time people just get used to it, just like everyone in my school got used to talking about Mr. Potty but made for a good laugh if we mentioned it out of the school circles)
Oh yes, important thing. Never play immediately after having food. or it could be mushrooms. But I would say food. It takes a toll on your stamina.
Oh yes, tomorrow Debo goes to college, first day...I hope it's nice. Infact I hope in the 4 years that he stays at home, he's able to find his calling. Lots of luck and best wishes!
Later
Sunday, September 14, 2008
a day of indulgence! films and food!
wow, it was a sunday, one like not seen in days...after a long time a sunday happened, when we could get up late and do what we wanted because there were also not many impending assignments or deadlines.
So I got up, had my breakfast and saw Forrest Gump. It was a brilliant film. Its quite wonderful what Robert Zemeckis does to his characters. He makes them do what they want, not thinking whether it is possible or not, so whether it is running for close to 3 years or living by the sea and living by oneself for years. There is a solid optimism about the film and there's nothing sorry about it. The accent sure was a little difficult for someone like me, who understands very little of a non-Indian English accent. This one was particularly bad. But watching a film on the computer is somewhat not so linear as watching a film on the big-screen when there is nothing you can do if you dont understand something. With Forrest Gump I had the privilege of going back and forth and back and forth if I didn't understand something.
But yes, life is like a box of assorted chocolates, you never know what you're heading for.
Ya so anyway, I slept for a bit in the afternoon and washed my clothes after getting up. It's quite an exercise to do it actually. I pile my clothes up for days and finally, when things come to a head, I wash them. So ya I washed them and got exhausted. But I must say Im quite thorough with that. I mean the best way to wash would be to soak them in a detergent for exactly 3 hours and then wash them with a nice cake. They come out with flying colours :D
Then I went out for a film with my dearest friends. The Last Lear. I hadn't really heard about the film. Only Debo had told me it's not nice. I couldnt imagine it was the way it was. If I were to describe the film in 1 word, it would be difficult. It taxes and teases the audience quite constantly. There were times I thought the actors had just learnt the script really hard and then regurgitated them. Sometimes, even when there were dialogues I thought they were soliloquies. More like a stage performance. Beautiful and radical looking people though. Shefali Chhaya was quite beautiful and acted well i think. And there's your Amitabh Bachhan who might have an extremely awe-inspiring voice, but I must say I dont understand much of what he says. Its like those handwritings that look beautiful and arty from a distance, with the right tilt and all but is illegible. And ya the film is very Bengali. Infact there's a whole lot of Bengali without sub-titles.
Oh by the way, it's quite unlike the other film by Rituparno Ghosh- Raincoat. That film was lucid and simple and amazingly rivetting. I mean it was bare and simple and Aishwarya hasn't looked better and both the actors were looking exactly their parts.
I also think, the film could have been a better academic exercise than just another film that you go for entertainment. I mean it could be a different more thinking kind of entertainment but not pure entertainment. Infact I look at films much differently than I used to. Sometimes I also see the arguments and what the film is trying to be. And mostly I dont like films much these days. And if I go to watch a film outside in the theater or something then I keep watching out for the interval. The last few films that I saw were A wednesday and Rock On, which were both liked by a lot by people. But I had doubts about the first one. I mean I liked it but something about it was suspect. I mean it was preachy and unthinkable and it kept me guessing, which was nice. And the second one I didn't like because it was just trying too hard. But everyone I spoke to outside of my college loved the film. So I dont know....but one thing i know for sure is that these films are all very different from each other and i like the confidence of people who make them because they treat their films so differently.
Oh yes, besides the film there were a couple of good things that I did today. I had the most amazing 'sev puri' that you get in front of FR, of which I dont think I have talked. It's quite brilliant, filling and yummy. I love all kinds of chaats actually, so 'sev-puris' dont have much more to do to lure me. :) I also had the 'bavarian chocolate' from baskin robbins which was again something to live and die and kill for. i sincerely love to eat. good food + good sleep + good money = good life. and i'm not sure about the last two :D
So that's that. Not much else to write. I think I'll begin my day early tomorrow and sort some things out.
Later
So I got up, had my breakfast and saw Forrest Gump. It was a brilliant film. Its quite wonderful what Robert Zemeckis does to his characters. He makes them do what they want, not thinking whether it is possible or not, so whether it is running for close to 3 years or living by the sea and living by oneself for years. There is a solid optimism about the film and there's nothing sorry about it. The accent sure was a little difficult for someone like me, who understands very little of a non-Indian English accent. This one was particularly bad. But watching a film on the computer is somewhat not so linear as watching a film on the big-screen when there is nothing you can do if you dont understand something. With Forrest Gump I had the privilege of going back and forth and back and forth if I didn't understand something.
But yes, life is like a box of assorted chocolates, you never know what you're heading for.
Ya so anyway, I slept for a bit in the afternoon and washed my clothes after getting up. It's quite an exercise to do it actually. I pile my clothes up for days and finally, when things come to a head, I wash them. So ya I washed them and got exhausted. But I must say Im quite thorough with that. I mean the best way to wash would be to soak them in a detergent for exactly 3 hours and then wash them with a nice cake. They come out with flying colours :D
Then I went out for a film with my dearest friends. The Last Lear. I hadn't really heard about the film. Only Debo had told me it's not nice. I couldnt imagine it was the way it was. If I were to describe the film in 1 word, it would be difficult. It taxes and teases the audience quite constantly. There were times I thought the actors had just learnt the script really hard and then regurgitated them. Sometimes, even when there were dialogues I thought they were soliloquies. More like a stage performance. Beautiful and radical looking people though. Shefali Chhaya was quite beautiful and acted well i think. And there's your Amitabh Bachhan who might have an extremely awe-inspiring voice, but I must say I dont understand much of what he says. Its like those handwritings that look beautiful and arty from a distance, with the right tilt and all but is illegible. And ya the film is very Bengali. Infact there's a whole lot of Bengali without sub-titles.
Oh by the way, it's quite unlike the other film by Rituparno Ghosh- Raincoat. That film was lucid and simple and amazingly rivetting. I mean it was bare and simple and Aishwarya hasn't looked better and both the actors were looking exactly their parts.
I also think, the film could have been a better academic exercise than just another film that you go for entertainment. I mean it could be a different more thinking kind of entertainment but not pure entertainment. Infact I look at films much differently than I used to. Sometimes I also see the arguments and what the film is trying to be. And mostly I dont like films much these days. And if I go to watch a film outside in the theater or something then I keep watching out for the interval. The last few films that I saw were A wednesday and Rock On, which were both liked by a lot by people. But I had doubts about the first one. I mean I liked it but something about it was suspect. I mean it was preachy and unthinkable and it kept me guessing, which was nice. And the second one I didn't like because it was just trying too hard. But everyone I spoke to outside of my college loved the film. So I dont know....but one thing i know for sure is that these films are all very different from each other and i like the confidence of people who make them because they treat their films so differently.
Oh yes, besides the film there were a couple of good things that I did today. I had the most amazing 'sev puri' that you get in front of FR, of which I dont think I have talked. It's quite brilliant, filling and yummy. I love all kinds of chaats actually, so 'sev-puris' dont have much more to do to lure me. :) I also had the 'bavarian chocolate' from baskin robbins which was again something to live and die and kill for. i sincerely love to eat. good food + good sleep + good money = good life. and i'm not sure about the last two :D
So that's that. Not much else to write. I think I'll begin my day early tomorrow and sort some things out.
Later
Saturday, September 13, 2008
no idea about the time!
last night we had a party, it's vanguished time completely. The body clock also goes for a toss. So after having talked and walked and danced and roistered last night, I slept like a log. which is great because it's been a long time since I slept like one.
The party was good fun, and after much ballyhoo, it finally came to pass. Firstly, some of the juniors refused to pay the hefty party amount, stating they didn't drink. And that's completely understandable. Why should anyone pay for anyone else's booze? But I never thought the sentiment would resonate as a batch. Anyhow, they finally did pay. Which is good because we paid for last party and it's only fair that they paid back. Now onwards I think, the cost of the party can be apportioned between everything else and the drinks. I think this should be possible, or atleast I am told.
Anyway, I was just being over-ambitious. Thinking I'll come back from the party and write. But like I said I was being over-ambitious, once I came back, I had scarcely lain myself on the bed, and I dont remember when I caught that log-like sleep. I knew I was sleepy, atleast my lurch suggested that. Anyhow, Id looked forward to the party and really looked forward to it. I love to dance to good music. Not that the music was very good and not that I dance very well, but I still love to dance. I think people should do what they like to do best and not what they do best. No actually, that would lead to a lot of mediocrity in this world.
Ya, so the party was good fun. Not very good fun, just good fun. There was some good stuff to eat, but a lot of people were just saying- Be a man or What a girl! I dont think I liked that a lot. Why should one try to be a man, when she's not.
And a lot of people were dressed well. Which is a welcome change from the same old mundane things that people look otherwise. One can really experiment with his clothes in such a party. Go overboard and wear what you like.
But it's not very good to know people in a party. Not only is it boring, but also it becomes difficult to ask for a dance or even decline an invitation to dance. I'd love to go to a party where I know no one, and whose face i'll never look at unless I really want to.
So ya after waking up I spoke to my mum for a long time. She was generally telling me about her concerns for her daughter :D Her concerns are valid, but so are her daughter's. But my parents are not difficult at all :). They can be talked into things, for which Im so proud of them :)
And then I decided I'd have a nice Veg Frankie at TT, which I like so much. And then I thought I'd sit in some open space to read something. So I walked out with a book. But I dont think I would have read. I mean I knew I wouldnt read when I'm one with nature and especially nice windy nature. So while I was walking, I actually saw this nature sepiate. From sunny to orange and then to a rather dark but a pretty hue, I saw the colours change. That's the thing with our small little campus. From time to time, it becomes a hole and a haven. I walked in the middle of the streeth, thinking that the gail would cause the trees on either side to fall on me. And then quite suddenly it started to rain so badly. And I ran and ran, and I was feeling quite funny inside. It's still raining. These days one can't say anything about anything. Neither rains, nor blasts. This evening there were some of them in Delhi. Why Why Why, I ask? Such pretty places and who is this that hates humanity so much. It's so difficult these days to step out in these big and vulnerable cities. In Delhi, a friend was telling me that no one should step out of the house or use a metro on the national holidays. It's preposterous I tell you. These dates were once important to commemorate stuff then they became important because they were respites in busy schedules and now they have just become dates to be extremely careful.
Anyhow, i'm really looking forward to a nice brilliant day tomorrow. It's finally a Sunday and I can get up late again and then I can wash my clothes and play a lot.
Later
The party was good fun, and after much ballyhoo, it finally came to pass. Firstly, some of the juniors refused to pay the hefty party amount, stating they didn't drink. And that's completely understandable. Why should anyone pay for anyone else's booze? But I never thought the sentiment would resonate as a batch. Anyhow, they finally did pay. Which is good because we paid for last party and it's only fair that they paid back. Now onwards I think, the cost of the party can be apportioned between everything else and the drinks. I think this should be possible, or atleast I am told.
Anyway, I was just being over-ambitious. Thinking I'll come back from the party and write. But like I said I was being over-ambitious, once I came back, I had scarcely lain myself on the bed, and I dont remember when I caught that log-like sleep. I knew I was sleepy, atleast my lurch suggested that. Anyhow, Id looked forward to the party and really looked forward to it. I love to dance to good music. Not that the music was very good and not that I dance very well, but I still love to dance. I think people should do what they like to do best and not what they do best. No actually, that would lead to a lot of mediocrity in this world.
Ya, so the party was good fun. Not very good fun, just good fun. There was some good stuff to eat, but a lot of people were just saying- Be a man or What a girl! I dont think I liked that a lot. Why should one try to be a man, when she's not.
And a lot of people were dressed well. Which is a welcome change from the same old mundane things that people look otherwise. One can really experiment with his clothes in such a party. Go overboard and wear what you like.
But it's not very good to know people in a party. Not only is it boring, but also it becomes difficult to ask for a dance or even decline an invitation to dance. I'd love to go to a party where I know no one, and whose face i'll never look at unless I really want to.
So ya after waking up I spoke to my mum for a long time. She was generally telling me about her concerns for her daughter :D Her concerns are valid, but so are her daughter's. But my parents are not difficult at all :). They can be talked into things, for which Im so proud of them :)
And then I decided I'd have a nice Veg Frankie at TT, which I like so much. And then I thought I'd sit in some open space to read something. So I walked out with a book. But I dont think I would have read. I mean I knew I wouldnt read when I'm one with nature and especially nice windy nature. So while I was walking, I actually saw this nature sepiate. From sunny to orange and then to a rather dark but a pretty hue, I saw the colours change. That's the thing with our small little campus. From time to time, it becomes a hole and a haven. I walked in the middle of the streeth, thinking that the gail would cause the trees on either side to fall on me. And then quite suddenly it started to rain so badly. And I ran and ran, and I was feeling quite funny inside. It's still raining. These days one can't say anything about anything. Neither rains, nor blasts. This evening there were some of them in Delhi. Why Why Why, I ask? Such pretty places and who is this that hates humanity so much. It's so difficult these days to step out in these big and vulnerable cities. In Delhi, a friend was telling me that no one should step out of the house or use a metro on the national holidays. It's preposterous I tell you. These dates were once important to commemorate stuff then they became important because they were respites in busy schedules and now they have just become dates to be extremely careful.
Anyhow, i'm really looking forward to a nice brilliant day tomorrow. It's finally a Sunday and I can get up late again and then I can wash my clothes and play a lot.
Later
Thursday, September 11, 2008
big bang scared me!
last night, when i was talking to zoo, she told me that the world was going to come to an end. I had heard about it, but didn't know it was the universe that might be endangered...
shite! that would have been horrible. i mean there are so many things that i want to do, places to travel, books to read, cars to drive, gadgets to use, body butters to smell and chocolate cakes to eat! and i also have to see how NANO does... sure i also want to know why antimatter is more than matter, how the universe came into being, what the particle accelerator might do and some other secrets of the universe, but not as badly as i want to do some of these other things.
Anyhow, yesterday, me and zoo spoke for a long time. We discussed this really nice play that she had just seen and that she has joined a theater workshop, in which she is going to see and explore her skills as an actor. That's the thing with Bombay I think. There's a big enough Bombay thats extremely eclectic, that does the choicest things. Actually that's the thing with Delhi also. I had a brilliant brush with Delhi this summer for my summer internship. The amount of anonymity that these cities afford you is quite brilliant. There were a whole lot of things to do in Delhi also. Lots of places to eat and so many places to visit. And I think it's slightly more roomy than Bombay. Delhi also has Dilli Haat, which is one of the most frequented place of one of my friends. I was reading how it has helped some people across the country to earn their livelihood. Their crafts survived because of Dilli haat. Actually dilli haat doesnt get a cut of the profits that these craftsmen earn. Also there are no middlemen and most importantly their wares earn a ready market. I also know a graduate from NIFT put shop there and her stuff was getting a lot of recognition and Dilli Haat helped her gain some international orders, with which she was extremely happy.
Anyhow, these little cultural havens can happen only in these really big cities. Its only there that a lot of different kinds can co-exist. I thought once I'm sorted with college and all, I can go back to a small, pretty town where I can come back from work, chill with family and just keep chilling, thereafter. But I think it makes sense to raise my little ones in a semi-big, semi-small city. :D
Ya, so we worked on putting some colors into the black and white things in life. We came up with a lot of things such as a zebra, a zebra crossing, a dove, a chessboard, dalmations that could be colored. The creative, trippy genius in our group will bring these ideas alive. We worked on the communication plan, so now work's basically done.
I got hurt really badly on my hand today. Basically I was standing out while someone was playing badminton. It went on the side court and thinking that the guy playing would figure it out and attempt to leave, I tried to catch the shuttle. But actually, he could not figure it out and attempted to play. So you see, trying to catch the shuttle and attempting to hit the shot were synchronous. It's a little swollen, but I am Rana Sanga of Mewar. Thats what my mum calls me, when I get hurt and tell her. That by the way also is the one of the only pieces of history that I remember. I also remember that Shah Jahan got the builders of Taj Mahal 'behanded'.
Anyhow, I finally spoke to my mama, who was getting really upset about not calling. All's well there.
Oh, this very interesting thing happened today. I wrote to this French guy, whose blog I stumbled upon. He had photographed Rajasthan quite brilliantly. So he replied to me (in French) telling me about the pretty hamlets there. It's really strange actually, I am from Marwar and Im asking a French guy about whats mine (not mine mine but still quite mine). But interestingly, what he suggested could be of much help to us.
That's it. Hand's hurting. Back's hurting, Eyes are hurting and before my heart hurts, I must put my pen down :D
Later
shite! that would have been horrible. i mean there are so many things that i want to do, places to travel, books to read, cars to drive, gadgets to use, body butters to smell and chocolate cakes to eat! and i also have to see how NANO does... sure i also want to know why antimatter is more than matter, how the universe came into being, what the particle accelerator might do and some other secrets of the universe, but not as badly as i want to do some of these other things.
Anyhow, yesterday, me and zoo spoke for a long time. We discussed this really nice play that she had just seen and that she has joined a theater workshop, in which she is going to see and explore her skills as an actor. That's the thing with Bombay I think. There's a big enough Bombay thats extremely eclectic, that does the choicest things. Actually that's the thing with Delhi also. I had a brilliant brush with Delhi this summer for my summer internship. The amount of anonymity that these cities afford you is quite brilliant. There were a whole lot of things to do in Delhi also. Lots of places to eat and so many places to visit. And I think it's slightly more roomy than Bombay. Delhi also has Dilli Haat, which is one of the most frequented place of one of my friends. I was reading how it has helped some people across the country to earn their livelihood. Their crafts survived because of Dilli haat. Actually dilli haat doesnt get a cut of the profits that these craftsmen earn. Also there are no middlemen and most importantly their wares earn a ready market. I also know a graduate from NIFT put shop there and her stuff was getting a lot of recognition and Dilli Haat helped her gain some international orders, with which she was extremely happy.
Anyhow, these little cultural havens can happen only in these really big cities. Its only there that a lot of different kinds can co-exist. I thought once I'm sorted with college and all, I can go back to a small, pretty town where I can come back from work, chill with family and just keep chilling, thereafter. But I think it makes sense to raise my little ones in a semi-big, semi-small city. :D
Ya, so we worked on putting some colors into the black and white things in life. We came up with a lot of things such as a zebra, a zebra crossing, a dove, a chessboard, dalmations that could be colored. The creative, trippy genius in our group will bring these ideas alive. We worked on the communication plan, so now work's basically done.
I got hurt really badly on my hand today. Basically I was standing out while someone was playing badminton. It went on the side court and thinking that the guy playing would figure it out and attempt to leave, I tried to catch the shuttle. But actually, he could not figure it out and attempted to play. So you see, trying to catch the shuttle and attempting to hit the shot were synchronous. It's a little swollen, but I am Rana Sanga of Mewar. Thats what my mum calls me, when I get hurt and tell her. That by the way also is the one of the only pieces of history that I remember. I also remember that Shah Jahan got the builders of Taj Mahal 'behanded'.
Anyhow, I finally spoke to my mama, who was getting really upset about not calling. All's well there.
Oh, this very interesting thing happened today. I wrote to this French guy, whose blog I stumbled upon. He had photographed Rajasthan quite brilliantly. So he replied to me (in French) telling me about the pretty hamlets there. It's really strange actually, I am from Marwar and Im asking a French guy about whats mine (not mine mine but still quite mine). But interestingly, what he suggested could be of much help to us.
That's it. Hand's hurting. Back's hurting, Eyes are hurting and before my heart hurts, I must put my pen down :D
Later
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
today was not so unlovely!
it may not be an ideal day, but it came close.
while it was COLORS continued with your usual presentations on our creative brief, ive become sort of indifferent with this whole business. Earlier we used to wake up in time to meet the group, but not any more. Get up 10 minutes before breakfast closes, have my tea and breakfast and straight to the class for the presentation, where we have become painfully repetitive.
Briefs by the way, all about the creativity and the floweriness of the language. However, despite the richness of English language, sometimes it feels so unhelping. You scour and scour and scour for a suitable word, and there you are with only a small list of words, which also don't serve your purpose in trying to say what you mean.
Anyhow, i came back, caught my siesta after having read a little bit on Rajasthan. That is where I want to go for a rural study. Man, I am kicked about it. I have never done this. I mean going out to a rural place all by myself. I can do what I want, when I want and where I want. It's good actually to go alone or maybe a couple of friends because then the effort to coordinate is no longer there. Besides, then you can give yourself free rein to explore. Also the collective opinion about a place that stamps down individual opinion can be done away with.
But ofcourse, it's sure great fun to travel with friends. Company can lessen the travails of a boring place or a difficult journey. I think it makes roughing-it-up much more fun. Hitchhiking alone is not half as good as hitchhiking with someone. And it's better to have someone look out for you. So you neednt stay sober and really indulge without thinking and ofcourse then a different-you can come back to a different-home because you can never come back to the same-old-thing.
Ya so after the siesta, the stupid sunlight really advanced the evening. It has been horrible staying in this kind of a climate. It's a hot hole. MSN says it is 31 degree celcius and it feels like 39, which is probably the hottest in the country. Why Why Why I ask? Why am I put through such works of nature. It's also perhaps because I feel much hotter and colder than it actually is. One day I fear, my organs and soul will evaporate.
For some days now, I have been playing Badminton pretty regularly. I think I am improving, but not enough to be able to win. I move my feet more and I'm beginning to understand the rules. I think it's got something to do with public confession. I mean, some days back I confessed that I can't understand baddy rules and suddenly today I wake up to understand that I can actually figure out scores while playing. But honestly, at the risk of sounding extremely noble, it's not for the winning that I play. I need a doze of physical exercise. I tell you, something to do, something to play, someone to love and something to hope for is all you need to be happy :D (someone said it, i just added the play thing).
ok..now i have to go back to work...infuse some more colors into my world :D..oh by the way, a friend says that it's got some bold programming content. that show called 'balika vadhu' is pretty interesting. My God, Colors should pay me, and pay me well for talking about it so much in the past few days. It's all about creating Buzz.
I'll come back, be serenaded by John Denver and call it a night I think.
Later
while it was COLORS continued with your usual presentations on our creative brief, ive become sort of indifferent with this whole business. Earlier we used to wake up in time to meet the group, but not any more. Get up 10 minutes before breakfast closes, have my tea and breakfast and straight to the class for the presentation, where we have become painfully repetitive.
Briefs by the way, all about the creativity and the floweriness of the language. However, despite the richness of English language, sometimes it feels so unhelping. You scour and scour and scour for a suitable word, and there you are with only a small list of words, which also don't serve your purpose in trying to say what you mean.
Anyhow, i came back, caught my siesta after having read a little bit on Rajasthan. That is where I want to go for a rural study. Man, I am kicked about it. I have never done this. I mean going out to a rural place all by myself. I can do what I want, when I want and where I want. It's good actually to go alone or maybe a couple of friends because then the effort to coordinate is no longer there. Besides, then you can give yourself free rein to explore. Also the collective opinion about a place that stamps down individual opinion can be done away with.
But ofcourse, it's sure great fun to travel with friends. Company can lessen the travails of a boring place or a difficult journey. I think it makes roughing-it-up much more fun. Hitchhiking alone is not half as good as hitchhiking with someone. And it's better to have someone look out for you. So you neednt stay sober and really indulge without thinking and ofcourse then a different-you can come back to a different-home because you can never come back to the same-old-thing.
Ya so after the siesta, the stupid sunlight really advanced the evening. It has been horrible staying in this kind of a climate. It's a hot hole. MSN says it is 31 degree celcius and it feels like 39, which is probably the hottest in the country. Why Why Why I ask? Why am I put through such works of nature. It's also perhaps because I feel much hotter and colder than it actually is. One day I fear, my organs and soul will evaporate.
For some days now, I have been playing Badminton pretty regularly. I think I am improving, but not enough to be able to win. I move my feet more and I'm beginning to understand the rules. I think it's got something to do with public confession. I mean, some days back I confessed that I can't understand baddy rules and suddenly today I wake up to understand that I can actually figure out scores while playing. But honestly, at the risk of sounding extremely noble, it's not for the winning that I play. I need a doze of physical exercise. I tell you, something to do, something to play, someone to love and something to hope for is all you need to be happy :D (someone said it, i just added the play thing).
ok..now i have to go back to work...infuse some more colors into my world :D..oh by the way, a friend says that it's got some bold programming content. that show called 'balika vadhu' is pretty interesting. My God, Colors should pay me, and pay me well for talking about it so much in the past few days. It's all about creating Buzz.
I'll come back, be serenaded by John Denver and call it a night I think.
Later
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
another day full of colors
it's really really late and I want to hit the bed. But more than that, I want to write. But in this state of 'somnia', i dont know what i will write
Another day of the AP workshop....and its not very interesting. Not only that, I feel im learning very little. I have learnt this one thing for sure. Wise are the men, who give college over once they come to know that it's college that's coming in the way of their learning.
Despite this feeling, I dont think it's the kind of thing you'd want to give a miss. I mean, this place is fascinating. It is for me. This is my first brush with a lot of different kind of people. There is the mass and the class. There are some very angry people, who have some serious, grave complaints with people around them. There are people who complain about the professors about the curriculum. There are those who like filling their time with work while others crib over the lack of it. But they are all obsessed with themselves. They are very talented but I dont think they're humble. Honestly, their promptness, their unmistakable confidence, crispness, art of persuading and above all sureness about themselves and what they want to do can all be very daunting. They are all smart-talkers. But this is a little disturbing. They are glib and obsess over language. They obsess over spellings and pronunciations. But I think spellings and pronunciations are petty. One can discuss them but not fixate on them. Anyhow, therefore one's got to experience this, step out and absort the place. I'm quite certain, it might help sometime.
Another day in which we discussed a little more of COLORS channel. It really beats me. One day I dont understand the channel philosophy. The next day I get some sense of it, why the channel is the way it is and then the next day Im again lead a merry dance by more discussion.
I think GEC is a difficult category to handle. It tries to be everything to everyone. So I fail to understand why we have a primary TG and a secondary TG. I think COLORS has something for everyone but it still stresses on disruptive programming and aggressive marketing. Again, it really beats me.
Working in a group has been very gratifying and ungratifying. One can free-ride but not all the time. In a group, someone will get an 'aha' moment, the moment of truth, the one break-through but others look at each other dazed, just to see if their disappointment is shared. You can take your own time, if you're working alone, which is nice, but here you can never free-ride!
Federer won yet again. The man seems invincible. I usually like underdogs but he is one man, one man who really really respects his victories I feel. I dont think he's even overcome by winning so much. But yes, he won yet again. 3 straight sets. I really like tennis but I dont think I can play because I think I have a tennis wrist. Actually, truth be spoken I love a lot of sports but not particularly good in any. I was SCAM last year (Sports Committee) in my college. Did not do much for the committee apart from playing. Next year there was a strong anti-incumbency, so I stepped down :d but i continued playing. I remember last year, in some table-tennis tournament, I had to keep score. But the game is so fast, it was so difficult for me to keep pace with it and also keep the score. I would goof up in scoring points for the winning player. I think it could be something to do with not having confidence in myself in being able to score or something to do with math or memory. In any case, I stepped down but kept playing, not particularly well.
Oh the plan was to keep it short, so I must end here. There are lots of things I feel like writing but there's enough time and enough to do and enough to mull-over and LOTS to sleep :)
Later
Another day of the AP workshop....and its not very interesting. Not only that, I feel im learning very little. I have learnt this one thing for sure. Wise are the men, who give college over once they come to know that it's college that's coming in the way of their learning.
Despite this feeling, I dont think it's the kind of thing you'd want to give a miss. I mean, this place is fascinating. It is for me. This is my first brush with a lot of different kind of people. There is the mass and the class. There are some very angry people, who have some serious, grave complaints with people around them. There are people who complain about the professors about the curriculum. There are those who like filling their time with work while others crib over the lack of it. But they are all obsessed with themselves. They are very talented but I dont think they're humble. Honestly, their promptness, their unmistakable confidence, crispness, art of persuading and above all sureness about themselves and what they want to do can all be very daunting. They are all smart-talkers. But this is a little disturbing. They are glib and obsess over language. They obsess over spellings and pronunciations. But I think spellings and pronunciations are petty. One can discuss them but not fixate on them. Anyhow, therefore one's got to experience this, step out and absort the place. I'm quite certain, it might help sometime.
Another day in which we discussed a little more of COLORS channel. It really beats me. One day I dont understand the channel philosophy. The next day I get some sense of it, why the channel is the way it is and then the next day Im again lead a merry dance by more discussion.
I think GEC is a difficult category to handle. It tries to be everything to everyone. So I fail to understand why we have a primary TG and a secondary TG. I think COLORS has something for everyone but it still stresses on disruptive programming and aggressive marketing. Again, it really beats me.
Working in a group has been very gratifying and ungratifying. One can free-ride but not all the time. In a group, someone will get an 'aha' moment, the moment of truth, the one break-through but others look at each other dazed, just to see if their disappointment is shared. You can take your own time, if you're working alone, which is nice, but here you can never free-ride!
Federer won yet again. The man seems invincible. I usually like underdogs but he is one man, one man who really really respects his victories I feel. I dont think he's even overcome by winning so much. But yes, he won yet again. 3 straight sets. I really like tennis but I dont think I can play because I think I have a tennis wrist. Actually, truth be spoken I love a lot of sports but not particularly good in any. I was SCAM last year (Sports Committee) in my college. Did not do much for the committee apart from playing. Next year there was a strong anti-incumbency, so I stepped down :d but i continued playing. I remember last year, in some table-tennis tournament, I had to keep score. But the game is so fast, it was so difficult for me to keep pace with it and also keep the score. I would goof up in scoring points for the winning player. I think it could be something to do with not having confidence in myself in being able to score or something to do with math or memory. In any case, I stepped down but kept playing, not particularly well.
Oh the plan was to keep it short, so I must end here. There are lots of things I feel like writing but there's enough time and enough to do and enough to mull-over and LOTS to sleep :)
Later
Monday, September 8, 2008
it was all about colors!
as long as i can keep it going...i will....so the little time i could take out of my Account Planning workshop-packed day, I did and while i'm supposed to find mega inferential insights about how people view GEC's such as COLORS, and my group members gone for dinner, I am writing!
I had never thought, I'd have to do brand wheel and brand vision focus for colors. and not that it interests me a lot. I mean, obsessing with Colors was really not what I thought i was getting into when I chose the 5-credit (and that's big) course on AP. Anyhow, like everything else I will live with this too. I am not really the one who'd take steps when one should. I mean procrastination is like my second nature. For eg. I havn't returned Noam Chowmsky to the library and the date was the day before yesterday. But I also havnt read it. I have kept it for days and days, and occasionally use it to kill insects in my room and still havnt read it.
I dont read in the loo any more. That is because I like to think there. I like to think a lot and about a lot of different things. I used to talk on the phone also but these days i'm too much in a rush.
Anyhow, the little time that I got in the day, before I had a deliverable, I tried to find out, what are the cool, fun, pretty rural places in India. It also has to be convenient, close to Ahmedabad, reaching where is budget. I should also know the language of that place for the rural project in college. In essence, I am saying the place should be somewhere in Maharashtra, Rajasthan or MP (unless Gujarat is connected with any other state).
I am biased for Rajasthan. I feel there is so much to see there. Even though it's where both are my parents are from i know it very little. Though I do know, it's a riot of colours. And then there is this mellifluous, pretty refrain that lingers on in your head, some Marwari song. Then is a sea of vibrant pagris and the most beautiful ghaghras and backless cholis, and women cloyed with the most beautiful, chunky silver jewellery. It makes every woman beautiful and every pair of eyes longing. It has a folksy-brilliant-rustic charm about it. Anyhow, I think in essence Im only saying the place should be somewhere in Rajasthan :D
This is one of the loaded questions, where the person asking, answers his own questions without giving the interlocutor any chance.
Oh thereafter, I am also going for a trip to Maharashtra. No idea who all will accompany but someone certainly will. I'll go meandering up a hill on a powerful cycle, find a brilliant, virgin fort and chill there. I have tried to find about such places. There is one trek, quite unexplored on your way to Lonavala I think. There are also other forts I think in Pratapgarh, Daulatgarh or Amboli.
But if that doesn't happen, our very own Mahabaleshwar will be glad to receive me yet again, the third time. The first two times I went with my family, it was just BRILLIANT. You get the most amazing squashes and crushes of Mapro. You also get the most sanguine strawberries there. what people dont know much about is it's walnut-fudge and 'gulkand'. They are the daintiest goodies one can have.
Anyhow, before that I have a whole lot of classes that I have to survive. And a lot of classes that have to survive me. And also there are a whole lot of classes post that. Econometrics and all, so come back and tighten my belt.
Oh, what cannot be missed is that how much of Badminton I played today, after such a long time. I feel i was rusting, so decided to play despite the work. I play ok, but I do that badly! I mean, I don't exactly play badly, but I make people lose alll the time. I have even the best players lose. I think, I am the soft target. If I'm playing front left, they'll play front right. If I'm playing right back, they'll play front left. And Shatru says, I should not lock my feet. I paid heed to that, but I dont think I can do anything about my stupid feet.
And another thing that cannnot be missed is that I had a bath twice in 5 hours. It was because I sweat it out after baddy. Mummy will be proud because it's rare.
woohoo...second blog's done...if i do it for 21 days, ill have picked it up....
group's come back, and now ready for COLORS cheer-haran.
Later
I had never thought, I'd have to do brand wheel and brand vision focus for colors. and not that it interests me a lot. I mean, obsessing with Colors was really not what I thought i was getting into when I chose the 5-credit (and that's big) course on AP. Anyhow, like everything else I will live with this too. I am not really the one who'd take steps when one should. I mean procrastination is like my second nature. For eg. I havn't returned Noam Chowmsky to the library and the date was the day before yesterday. But I also havnt read it. I have kept it for days and days, and occasionally use it to kill insects in my room and still havnt read it.
I dont read in the loo any more. That is because I like to think there. I like to think a lot and about a lot of different things. I used to talk on the phone also but these days i'm too much in a rush.
Anyhow, the little time that I got in the day, before I had a deliverable, I tried to find out, what are the cool, fun, pretty rural places in India. It also has to be convenient, close to Ahmedabad, reaching where is budget. I should also know the language of that place for the rural project in college. In essence, I am saying the place should be somewhere in Maharashtra, Rajasthan or MP (unless Gujarat is connected with any other state).
I am biased for Rajasthan. I feel there is so much to see there. Even though it's where both are my parents are from i know it very little. Though I do know, it's a riot of colours. And then there is this mellifluous, pretty refrain that lingers on in your head, some Marwari song. Then is a sea of vibrant pagris and the most beautiful ghaghras and backless cholis, and women cloyed with the most beautiful, chunky silver jewellery. It makes every woman beautiful and every pair of eyes longing. It has a folksy-brilliant-rustic charm about it. Anyhow, I think in essence Im only saying the place should be somewhere in Rajasthan :D
This is one of the loaded questions, where the person asking, answers his own questions without giving the interlocutor any chance.
Oh thereafter, I am also going for a trip to Maharashtra. No idea who all will accompany but someone certainly will. I'll go meandering up a hill on a powerful cycle, find a brilliant, virgin fort and chill there. I have tried to find about such places. There is one trek, quite unexplored on your way to Lonavala I think. There are also other forts I think in Pratapgarh, Daulatgarh or Amboli.
But if that doesn't happen, our very own Mahabaleshwar will be glad to receive me yet again, the third time. The first two times I went with my family, it was just BRILLIANT. You get the most amazing squashes and crushes of Mapro. You also get the most sanguine strawberries there. what people dont know much about is it's walnut-fudge and 'gulkand'. They are the daintiest goodies one can have.
Anyhow, before that I have a whole lot of classes that I have to survive. And a lot of classes that have to survive me. And also there are a whole lot of classes post that. Econometrics and all, so come back and tighten my belt.
Oh, what cannot be missed is that how much of Badminton I played today, after such a long time. I feel i was rusting, so decided to play despite the work. I play ok, but I do that badly! I mean, I don't exactly play badly, but I make people lose alll the time. I have even the best players lose. I think, I am the soft target. If I'm playing front left, they'll play front right. If I'm playing right back, they'll play front left. And Shatru says, I should not lock my feet. I paid heed to that, but I dont think I can do anything about my stupid feet.
And another thing that cannnot be missed is that I had a bath twice in 5 hours. It was because I sweat it out after baddy. Mummy will be proud because it's rare.
woohoo...second blog's done...if i do it for 21 days, ill have picked it up....
group's come back, and now ready for COLORS cheer-haran.
Later
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Deciding to write a blog!
After a lot of deliberation, I decided to write a blog. I hope to continue it, but in the past I've given it over before I could begin to feel how it feels to own a personal diary. Anyhow, it's not about regularity but about writing about things i feel about, things that i would otherwise forget and basically organizing my thoughts!
It's a good day to start writing. There were some interesting discoveries that I made today. For eg. absolut mango + appy and absolut Pears + Nimbu paani are not lethal. That I laugh a lot sometimes, without reason. That even pregnant, ugly lizards can pass through the little creak from my hostel room. And on trying to find out what else that little creak was capable of doing, i found out that it could also encourage voyeurism. But like any problem has more than 1 solution, this one also had. I discovered that my cupboard was strategically placed, so that if i were to open the door to my cupboard, I could sleep the way i wanted, with abandon.
It was also today, that i found out that the 22 years that are past me now, have a pattern to them. And I think, that pattern is going to repeat and I should be able to manage it. Oh, I want to learn how to read Tarot cards.
Last night was a roller-coaster. Did a lot of things. Felt happy and guilty and happy and guilty. Happy, because I don't really know, guilty because i didn't know why I was happy. I was escorted by a certain someone back to the room, with much love. But I had a late night, or should I say an early morning. But i still didn't have it. I mean, i couldn't sleep much. Something in my stomach was thinking...Thinking hard. But a certain someone tried hard. ....
In the afternoon, I got up to understand the consumer for Colors channel. All of yesterday, we in MICA, watched COLORS, to see the programming line-up of the show. To see how to consumer's psyche works. I dont know how it works, i dont think we were able to figure out. They say, that it;s meant for the youth. But I doubt it. Nothing about it is youthful. Neither Jeevan Saathi nor Balika Vadhu, nor Big Boss. Atleast not a youth like me. To my restless mind, it'd be difficult to watch one channel or one formula based saga like they show on Colors. But the numbers still show that it's fairing famously. It's already ousted Sony TV. But I have a feeling, it's confused positioning. Maybe the people they say it is meant for are not watching it, and others out of their target group are watching it.
Anyhow, after doing that, I slept for a bit, but only for a bit. Got up to have the brilliant Chinese snacks, which exacerbated my motions. It should be ok by tomorrow. I think it's because of those stupid anti-biotics that I was prescribed for my stupid knee injury, which some days back had developed puss. But I HATE pill-popping. It was only because mummy insisted, that I had them. But it's made my knee itchy. Mummy also says that an antibiotic course has to be followed properly.
And then worked for a bit and here I am writing a blog, which I wrote after much deliberation.
I intend to keep writing, but in the past I have given it over before I could experience the feeling of owning a personal diary. Sorry for the repetition. But it drives home the point better.
I just realised, this is what I am going to do. Spill out in this space, the discoveries that I make every day. Sorry for the long blog...but I'm just beginning to learn to write. I will become more concise with time, and also I had to establish a setting, a window from which one could look. That's it for now...
Later
It's a good day to start writing. There were some interesting discoveries that I made today. For eg. absolut mango + appy and absolut Pears + Nimbu paani are not lethal. That I laugh a lot sometimes, without reason. That even pregnant, ugly lizards can pass through the little creak from my hostel room. And on trying to find out what else that little creak was capable of doing, i found out that it could also encourage voyeurism. But like any problem has more than 1 solution, this one also had. I discovered that my cupboard was strategically placed, so that if i were to open the door to my cupboard, I could sleep the way i wanted, with abandon.
It was also today, that i found out that the 22 years that are past me now, have a pattern to them. And I think, that pattern is going to repeat and I should be able to manage it. Oh, I want to learn how to read Tarot cards.
Last night was a roller-coaster. Did a lot of things. Felt happy and guilty and happy and guilty. Happy, because I don't really know, guilty because i didn't know why I was happy. I was escorted by a certain someone back to the room, with much love. But I had a late night, or should I say an early morning. But i still didn't have it. I mean, i couldn't sleep much. Something in my stomach was thinking...Thinking hard. But a certain someone tried hard. ....
In the afternoon, I got up to understand the consumer for Colors channel. All of yesterday, we in MICA, watched COLORS, to see the programming line-up of the show. To see how to consumer's psyche works. I dont know how it works, i dont think we were able to figure out. They say, that it;s meant for the youth. But I doubt it. Nothing about it is youthful. Neither Jeevan Saathi nor Balika Vadhu, nor Big Boss. Atleast not a youth like me. To my restless mind, it'd be difficult to watch one channel or one formula based saga like they show on Colors. But the numbers still show that it's fairing famously. It's already ousted Sony TV. But I have a feeling, it's confused positioning. Maybe the people they say it is meant for are not watching it, and others out of their target group are watching it.
Anyhow, after doing that, I slept for a bit, but only for a bit. Got up to have the brilliant Chinese snacks, which exacerbated my motions. It should be ok by tomorrow. I think it's because of those stupid anti-biotics that I was prescribed for my stupid knee injury, which some days back had developed puss. But I HATE pill-popping. It was only because mummy insisted, that I had them. But it's made my knee itchy. Mummy also says that an antibiotic course has to be followed properly.
And then worked for a bit and here I am writing a blog, which I wrote after much deliberation.
I intend to keep writing, but in the past I have given it over before I could experience the feeling of owning a personal diary. Sorry for the repetition. But it drives home the point better.
I just realised, this is what I am going to do. Spill out in this space, the discoveries that I make every day. Sorry for the long blog...but I'm just beginning to learn to write. I will become more concise with time, and also I had to establish a setting, a window from which one could look. That's it for now...
Later
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