budday mumma budday!!

it's been three hours since my mum's bday began...i called her at 12, not because Debo reminded me exactly one hour before that, but because i just remembered, obviously I just remembered. She seemed dam excited about her b'day, and I reciprocated it too. The good thing, she said, was that i'm on two phones, with my two daughters. Hehe, sounds exactly like mummy. So anyway, I wished her when I was in an auto, coming back from Nerdy's bday, where everyone wished her and she thanked everyone else. She told me that I should treat everyone on her behalf, to which I just nodded :d So anyway, Nerdy had taken us to this really brilliant place, with the most amazing food in Ahmedabad called Haute Peppers, and we had a brilliant time, catching up with old and new friends. And ofcourse, everyone in the group went mad, clicking pictures too. Not that anyone was a photographer, because everyone just wanted to be in the frame and wanted no frame to go waste, without somebody being in it. But the food was also awesome. We had spa penne with tomato, basil sauce, thai curry, margharita, penne alfredo and caeser salad and jalapeno cheese soup. And yes, it tasted as well as it sounds.
Yesterday, while preparing for Nerdy's bday, I went mad, scampering around, looking for streamers, some old pictures to put in her room, cake and gifts. I managed everything, but could not really do much with the streamers and photoes. I'm actually a ball of non-planned, skittish nerves, who doesn't know how to order things on time. So ya, finally i managed everything else at the last moment.

And then, ofcourse, the much awaited Oorja also had to be gotten ready for. Garba is my favourite thing, much like chocolates, pasta, music and mummy. I danced like a fury and wore some outrageous clothes, which can happen only here in MICA and I'm glad I grabbed this opportunity. Anyhow, I danced and danced and at midnight, got the band to wish for Nerdy. She was embarrassed but blushing all the way. When we returned from dancing, we wished her, dunked her, dunked me, dunked some others, cut the cake and ate at TT. By the time, I came back, it was super late. So all night, I was sleepy like a donkey but could not get any sleep because I thought all my limbs had their own lives, refusing to move even when I'd wished them they do. So unable to move much, I got up and tried to sleep and got up and tried to sleep. Didn't work much and I had a good mind to amputate my legs, because the pain had become intolerable. It'd been so nice, if I could put an injection on the bugle of my shins and remove all the pain. Anyhow, I got late for the class in the morning, even though I'd done some pre-reading that same early morning, when sleep wasn't willing to come.
So while, I was carrying the cup of hot tea, running to the class, the storms in my tea-cup caused it to fall on my toes in motion. A similar thing had happened a few days earlier and singed my toes. But anyway it's a good thing. I can always test the water in the bathing tap with my toes then, not feeling the cold and the hot much.

I played Badminton with Tan for a bit, and didn't feel very different from how it felt about 20 days back. But it wasn't very tiring either, because I was playing front.
Anyhow, that pain could've been because of lack of tennis, or lack of something else. These latter lacks I don't understand much. They just happen without much reason and then till fragile egos are squashed, they just stay. Anyway, lacks should fill up with joy, for everyone. Happy birthday and lots of brilliant wishes and a great day for Mummy on her b'day!

Later

anova and arima

Finally, My Econometrics class got over with a bang, with my deciding that if I have dogs in the future (which is highly unlikely) or children, I'm going to nickname them Anova and Arima. I'm highly inspired by Ecometrics and that's one of the major takeaways from the subject. There are other takeaways too, such as how auto-regression and moving averages work and stationarity can be achieved by finding out delta values but I also know, very soon i'm going to drop all of this. Statistics are such a hokum i say. How can random variables in the past years, help to predict a random variable this year. I mean, it's a misnomer I say. How can one explain an aberration and predict it's occurrence in the future. Actually, I have very little faith in the power of probability also but chuck it.

These days, the new object of my affection is tennis. We've stepped onto the next level I think. PK and I do things for this new occupation, that we'd never do for many things else. So when we have appointments in the evening, we go in the thick of the afternoon. These days, we play one rally after the other, which don't last so much, not because we hit a wrong shot but because I crack up thinking Oh God! this is too good to be true :D
we also run a lot in the court, trying to play powerfully and place properly. We don't lob so much. PK nudges nudges the ball, so that it lands on the slant of my racquet and gouge the moving ball, right on the lap of the racquet, scooping it such that I dont have to bend to pick it up. Fancy :D. And I have to buy new shoes, because my soul has stopped moving up and down with my foot so that it feels restricted and bridled. We're going to be the new legends that started so late, but win all the slams by 45.:D. Even if I put all the jokes aside, I have to say, we're improving and we feel extremely accomplished after playing. In our dreams to stay fit and athletic, playing tennis is like a definite impetus. But it also might be because of PK, whose love for the game most certainly bears upon mine. Finding a player, who's exactly the same level as you in terms of the quality of game, shares a similar liking for it and refuses to give up, atleast for some time, is almost like finding the most right and similar friend. Both are pretty rare, or atleast found with much difficulty.

Last night, we had a nice Morgan accompanying us on our trip into the night. It was spicy and the tongue could tell it's that. We had chips and lemon and lots of talking, along with it too. But it totally stole the thunder. It made me long for bed every now and then though, but it was only morning when i finally got to hit it. But ya it was nice chatting up with Tan and PK.

India won, and not that I know much about test cricket, I was slightly sad to see Sourav Ganguli retire. He's been one of my more favourite players. I liked the absolute grace with which he made his way to the team again. Quite an example.

Besides these things, there are some other things that need mention. I'm going to look more South Indian today than anytime else. It's because mummy is making me participate in the 'cutest' baby fancy dress. She's going to dress me up and make me look pretty :D

I'm going to be back with another story of indulgence. Till then, play it. Play it high and short and deep and low. Play it with flourish, applauding gallery lo!

Later

got sweetly bashed up!

i have come to some important conclusions today. less is more...and much much better. So the dissertation that i was fussing over so much, has completely left me sad and rather pitiful. I'd read up online on climate change and all and apparently the panel couldn't see through my focus at all. So the focus which was supposed to be broader in the beginning and much narrower later, from the literature review to the research proposal showed little. so they asked me to redo it a little bit, maybe having a more specific thing to talk about. So for the presentation, I ranted and ranted,which is what I do in most presentations and bored the panel. And I felt both things, ranting and boring. Anyway, apparently my proposal wouldn't be able to achieve much in 2 years let alone 5 months.
But the feedback was healthy. Very nicely i got *u**** over by the best, most harmless panel, who wouldn't harm a fly :) So now, I'll work on it again. Hopefully I should not flunk, but who can guarantee that.

So that was the sad bit, but then I slept and dreamt one dream after another. Really funny ones, which I remember but they're insanely arbid. So thankfully PK woke me up to play tennis. These days, tennis keeps me going. So however bad our days go, it's tennis that sort of pulls us out of our sadness :) Oh by the way, these days both PK and i are improving a great deal. There are things we can do now, that we woudn't be able to do before. These days balls go in the same direction as we mean to hit it. We can play half volleys if balls are very long. We can also defy the net in a manner of kissing it and having it pass because of more power in shots. We dont have to run around much fetching the ball from the shrubs full of snakes and frogs. Some of the most comforting things are, when I run through the length and breadth of the court to play and manage to send the ball flying in PK's court. Also, a fresh glass of nimbu paani is absolute bliss. It's as comforting as the thought of a big task accomplished and accomplished well, after a lot of work. Anyhow, I love to play with virgin balls huhahaha. I can't say whether the pun was intended or not. Anyway, they make a sound that old ones don't and don't need that much power. Even some of the native monkeys come and watch our game sometimes. Then random people playing basketball come and say that we're picking up well :D But anyway, I'm too old to do anything about it. I just plain love playing :D

So ya tennis is great. Then we had the Y Y session, where we talked about expectations and how to plan careers. We spoke about how compromises are choices and therefore, deserve no reciprocity. We were taught to learn to enjoy the journey, enjoy every step. We shouldnt be fussy about how the first step is going to look, because that will not ensure our second one. Infact we should be more concerned to enjoy the thrills in the journey. All this for our career. Also, in view of the prevailing recession, we are constantly warned against bad placements scene.

But the day's not come to an end yet. It's 5.30 in the morning and therefore it must be 12 in Greenwich and breakfast-like time in oriental countries. Good god, I must sleep or I'll get dark circles. Worse, I won't get breakfast. But before that, I played lots of Monopoly with Nerdy, who by the way has completely transformed after her recent trip to Calcutta. But no one should play Monopoly with her. She intimidates and knows all the rules properly and makes for demanding partner. She knows how to trade and add and subtract money, and consolidate houses and hotels. Infact, after playing Monopoly today, I thought it must've played an important role in making her the way she is. That's a dangerous thing :D.
But played with less thinking kind of people, I'm sure it can be a very interesting game. I'll wait for my chances with some other people. Till then

later

Lovers

Yet another train journey!

These last some days have gone past me exactly like a dream, like a really fast one. I remember a lot of things about it, and I forget a lot of others. I don’t really remember the sequence so much, not how it began but I do remember that it turned from a slow, laid-back holiday on the terrace when pappa used to go to the office like any other time, mummy saw the market come up and down and down and down many times over and Debo went to the college and Zoo’s presence was eagerly awaited, turned into a great fun family event wherein there were lot of things to do for home and there were people to visit and poojas to attend and designs to make, and friends to meet and lots of food to eat and lots of homework to bare and lights and ‘deeyas’ to be lit, weird saris to be draped, Debo’s rants and complaints about some dramatic sporting events to be heard and the subsequent reprimands from Zoo to be heard too, beautiful morning teas to be had and the wonderful home-made ‘namkeen’ to be had too. And offcourse there were lazy mornings and sleepy nights to be embraced too.

Anyhow, these last some days I’ve spent at my home in Indore and I really wished if I could earn a living out of this, out of just sitting and enjoying at home, if I could give everything else, college, studies, work, work-load, deadlines, crowd, traffic, strangers, pollution, etc. a miss altogether.

So ya, right now I’m in the train and when I look back, I just feel it was perfect. A perfect Diwali to celebrate with my favourite people at my favourite place. I’m sure I’m not going to feel like this tomorrow morning. Things don’t stay with me very long, so I’ll like the rush in college too.

Ya so yesterday I went to this engagement party, where we met a lot of people. Not that it was lots of fun, but generally it was interesting to see people behave with each other and talk and smile and check their beautiful, silk dresses out and catch up and talk about their children and parents and having the variety of food, that was on offer. I for one, tried a lot of things out and my dad would find me with the plate everytime he saw me. He even pointed it out to me, saying how long would I take to finish and appear less greedy but I had to keep trying. I was standing for chaat for pretty long and I’ve realized the trick to having the guy give you chaat first is to ask him to put less masala or some more dahi or no chatni, so no one else would have it and it be understood as yours and only yours.

Anyway, I also ran into some old friends here and there and caught up again on what we’d missed. Some very interesting things emerged like classmates’ engagements and appointments into colleges and jobs. But everyone is more and less settled with what he or she is doing, in places they’d most likely want to be in. And then I also realized how sometimes we just know people and it’s good but how there may have been some more to know but then earlier we just didn’t know them because it just wouldn’t come to that. And I also think, it’s best like that. Anyhow, I think one time, we should all just sit down in a circle, catch up with each other, past education forgotten and talk about things big and small, things that interest multiple people and things that old friends talk about.

I also made some interesting observations and discoveries in these Diwali get-togethers that we have. That singing sometimes becomes an addiction and some songs dope. Sometimes, you also get annoyed with yourself for singing and humming and not stopping the same song that you chided at someone else for singing. That everyone is asked to sing sometimes no matter how well or badly you might sing. That husbands and wives can be really possessive for each other. That one has to be very intelligent and prompt for some games in cards and it's not everyone's cup of tea. That I get extremely excitable when I started playing cards the first time, this Diwali when I played Black Jack with some of my cousins. That I'm not lucky with too much luck when it comes to playing with money. And going to 'Om Namkeen' for shopping for the kitchen is lots of fun because you get to taste and taste and then buy what you want. That beginner's luck stands and stands much too straight.

Anyhow, I have gotten some good food from home that I hope to share with my friends along with some great stories to tell. Going back to college should be very interesting too. There’ll be more work for me, more late nights and deadlines, more tennis and baddy and more eccentric routines.

Later

Of lot of Diwali, Alpana, fried food and prayers!

Of lot of Diwali, Alpana, fried food and prayers!
Today was great fun really! The morning was lazy, despite Diwali, which makes for a festival pregnant with work, but also lots of fun.
In the morning we were hearing about Rahul Raj, the youth who was shot in encounter by the police, who wanted to kill Raj Thackeray and who promised not to harm anyone else. But he was still shot in encounter. That sort of took my goatee, in fact it took everyone else’s goatee too, including the different, opposing parties in Bihar. Funnily Lalu Yadav, Paswan and Nitish Kumar came together to voice their concern against the mishap. These kind of acts really beat me. We were all very distressed at how things had come to such a head in all these really important and cosmopolitan places of the country such as Delhi and Mumbai, how we feel so snug here, in a smaller but much much more livable and gayer city. Anyhow, localism is starting to nibble away slowly at the peace of these cities because of sectional politics. Ofcourse there are youths like us, whose love for their places is completely thwarted because of the likes of ‘he-who-must-not-be-named’ and who become insanely indignant and take some extreme, indiscriminate measures. Sometimes I feel that someone wishing to commit suicide very urgently should make sure the scum cleared. (ridiculous thought not to be taken very seriously).
Anyhow, on a much happier note, today was the first day of Diwali and it was great fun at home. I was chilling, experimenting with the new camera, the results a testimony to its brilliant powers. :D. It’s usable and one can tell very soon, how to set the clock so that one can take pictures of himself from a distance.
Then Zoo and I made the red and white alpana, which made this Diwali a particularly special one. Never before, had we ventured into this kind of artistry. My mum probably also complained a lot because like other more responsible girls, we would take little interest in sprucing our house up. But this time we did. We tried to make a design outside our house with the red and white paint. It was an original by Zoo and Me, more Zoo and less Me. She made the skeleton, and then both of us sort of went crazy with it, doing what we thought would look pretty, putting colours in shapes, red and white in triangles, squares and diamonds. Now I don’t reckon that it was the most amazing piece of art I think it was amazing fun to fill the red triangles with white and white with red. The feel of the wet paint, turning a consistent opaque in some time is very gratifying. So we had a nice time alternating brushes with each other and filling shapes up. There were some imported patterns but we are old and we are trained and we are affected and however hard we try, we can’t remove those pretty images of mehendi on hands and rangolis at homes from our recollections. There are pictures to support this feeling. Like I said, looking at it is not as much fun as making it is. But when I asked Zoo if I had the trappings of a painter, she answered of course I could be a ‘gairu’ (the red colour you make floor paintings with and colour flower pots with) painter and a modern artist and I will remember it this year, when I will probably not be placed and I can earn a living out of my talent. J

Well, time in Indore is closing in on me. And it’s this phenomenon, where on any day, particular phases rush past me while others will be really slow. So mornings are usually very fast, afternoons are lazy, evenings are fast, nights are very very fast. So by the time I decide to work on my dissertation, I find the clock ticking 2 AM already.
Anyhow, it was Roop Chaudas today and we were supposed to have been looking very good and pretty but I think barring that, we did everything we were supposed to this evening including making a whole lot of goodies to eat.
I love Diwali. I really do. I wish my family, friends and loved ones in and around our political frontiers, lots of celebration, fun, wealth, health, colours and light.
Later

living different realities!

i'm finally home. and this time for a fairly longish break. It's exciting in a way, because somehow doing nothing at home is also very very solacing. One can laze around lazily in the room, or chat with mom and dad, watch my mum work and crib and work and crib so much that now they don't seem that they're being alternated, but rather 2 actions that can never part with each other, watch my dad be on the defensive sometimes, watch mummy get up with a start every now and then with the upping and downing of the market, watch the whole house speed around the house to pack my brother off to the college and get-up to power-packed tea discussions with mom and dad and having late-night chats with Debo, or walking those walks on the terrace, wherefrom I could see a really-far off development also, wherefrom I can see only much closer buildings and wherefrom, all those little twinkling lights in the distance, in the twilight are now obliterated by very opaque structures. It's a killer to listen to your favourite music and walk in that haven of mine. Earlier my parents used to freak out, because it's a sort-of ramshackle of a place with lots of junk kept from earlier times, but now I think they've given up.

It just doesnt seem like 3 days have already dragged rush past me and I havn't done anything extraordinary. My train journey was rushed, extremely rushed. I almost ran in the auto also, in order to reach on time. I ran across 1 no. platform to reach 6 no. platform, dragging my suitcase and a sack thinking what might happen if I missed the train. Thankfully, I reached 5 minutes too before the train was about to leave and the train left 5 minutes too after it was scheduled for departure. As far as I can remember, when we all used to travel together, dad used to carry an air-pillow and we all used to carry beddings and extra sheets, which my dad put for everyone very meticulously. I also remember there being a pantry in the train and vendors shunting in the train. I remember longer journeys and people talking to each other all the time.

Anyhow, I watched Motorcycle Diaries again, this time paying attention on the details and faces. It was a fairly dark film, or maybe it was the resolution but either way, I couldn't tell much, only being able to figure out some contours. The films looked exactly what it was depicting perhaps. It looked like a journey, a rather happening one, across South America. Ofcourse, not to mention that Ernesto was a beautiful man and a beautiful man. I also want to travel the same way he did. But i doubt if I am that dauntless.

The dissertation on climate change is rearing it's ugly head yet again. Its amazing how it's still occupying me with occupying me much really. I mean, its not that I'm doing much about it, but it's also not that my mind is without fear and care. But I will definitely start doing something, something chunky and tangible.

Why I say, i'm living in different realities because home's a different world altogether. The paces change drastically. From a really fast and packed one to a really slow and crawling one, where you have just enough time to chill. Norms and reasons change. Zoo becomes suddenly too old for marriage at home and too young for it otherwise. Ideas of entertainment also change. Ideas of a good holiday changes. Ideas of the right time to wake up, eat, play, work and sleep change. What becomes important is to then reduce the distress caused by this immense sea of difference. That's the only how one can celebrate it.

Later