Of lot of Diwali, Alpana, fried food and prayers!

Of lot of Diwali, Alpana, fried food and prayers!
Today was great fun really! The morning was lazy, despite Diwali, which makes for a festival pregnant with work, but also lots of fun.
In the morning we were hearing about Rahul Raj, the youth who was shot in encounter by the police, who wanted to kill Raj Thackeray and who promised not to harm anyone else. But he was still shot in encounter. That sort of took my goatee, in fact it took everyone else’s goatee too, including the different, opposing parties in Bihar. Funnily Lalu Yadav, Paswan and Nitish Kumar came together to voice their concern against the mishap. These kind of acts really beat me. We were all very distressed at how things had come to such a head in all these really important and cosmopolitan places of the country such as Delhi and Mumbai, how we feel so snug here, in a smaller but much much more livable and gayer city. Anyhow, localism is starting to nibble away slowly at the peace of these cities because of sectional politics. Ofcourse there are youths like us, whose love for their places is completely thwarted because of the likes of ‘he-who-must-not-be-named’ and who become insanely indignant and take some extreme, indiscriminate measures. Sometimes I feel that someone wishing to commit suicide very urgently should make sure the scum cleared. (ridiculous thought not to be taken very seriously).
Anyhow, on a much happier note, today was the first day of Diwali and it was great fun at home. I was chilling, experimenting with the new camera, the results a testimony to its brilliant powers. :D. It’s usable and one can tell very soon, how to set the clock so that one can take pictures of himself from a distance.
Then Zoo and I made the red and white alpana, which made this Diwali a particularly special one. Never before, had we ventured into this kind of artistry. My mum probably also complained a lot because like other more responsible girls, we would take little interest in sprucing our house up. But this time we did. We tried to make a design outside our house with the red and white paint. It was an original by Zoo and Me, more Zoo and less Me. She made the skeleton, and then both of us sort of went crazy with it, doing what we thought would look pretty, putting colours in shapes, red and white in triangles, squares and diamonds. Now I don’t reckon that it was the most amazing piece of art I think it was amazing fun to fill the red triangles with white and white with red. The feel of the wet paint, turning a consistent opaque in some time is very gratifying. So we had a nice time alternating brushes with each other and filling shapes up. There were some imported patterns but we are old and we are trained and we are affected and however hard we try, we can’t remove those pretty images of mehendi on hands and rangolis at homes from our recollections. There are pictures to support this feeling. Like I said, looking at it is not as much fun as making it is. But when I asked Zoo if I had the trappings of a painter, she answered of course I could be a ‘gairu’ (the red colour you make floor paintings with and colour flower pots with) painter and a modern artist and I will remember it this year, when I will probably not be placed and I can earn a living out of my talent. J

Well, time in Indore is closing in on me. And it’s this phenomenon, where on any day, particular phases rush past me while others will be really slow. So mornings are usually very fast, afternoons are lazy, evenings are fast, nights are very very fast. So by the time I decide to work on my dissertation, I find the clock ticking 2 AM already.
Anyhow, it was Roop Chaudas today and we were supposed to have been looking very good and pretty but I think barring that, we did everything we were supposed to this evening including making a whole lot of goodies to eat.
I love Diwali. I really do. I wish my family, friends and loved ones in and around our political frontiers, lots of celebration, fun, wealth, health, colours and light.
Later

living different realities!

i'm finally home. and this time for a fairly longish break. It's exciting in a way, because somehow doing nothing at home is also very very solacing. One can laze around lazily in the room, or chat with mom and dad, watch my mum work and crib and work and crib so much that now they don't seem that they're being alternated, but rather 2 actions that can never part with each other, watch my dad be on the defensive sometimes, watch mummy get up with a start every now and then with the upping and downing of the market, watch the whole house speed around the house to pack my brother off to the college and get-up to power-packed tea discussions with mom and dad and having late-night chats with Debo, or walking those walks on the terrace, wherefrom I could see a really-far off development also, wherefrom I can see only much closer buildings and wherefrom, all those little twinkling lights in the distance, in the twilight are now obliterated by very opaque structures. It's a killer to listen to your favourite music and walk in that haven of mine. Earlier my parents used to freak out, because it's a sort-of ramshackle of a place with lots of junk kept from earlier times, but now I think they've given up.

It just doesnt seem like 3 days have already dragged rush past me and I havn't done anything extraordinary. My train journey was rushed, extremely rushed. I almost ran in the auto also, in order to reach on time. I ran across 1 no. platform to reach 6 no. platform, dragging my suitcase and a sack thinking what might happen if I missed the train. Thankfully, I reached 5 minutes too before the train was about to leave and the train left 5 minutes too after it was scheduled for departure. As far as I can remember, when we all used to travel together, dad used to carry an air-pillow and we all used to carry beddings and extra sheets, which my dad put for everyone very meticulously. I also remember there being a pantry in the train and vendors shunting in the train. I remember longer journeys and people talking to each other all the time.

Anyhow, I watched Motorcycle Diaries again, this time paying attention on the details and faces. It was a fairly dark film, or maybe it was the resolution but either way, I couldn't tell much, only being able to figure out some contours. The films looked exactly what it was depicting perhaps. It looked like a journey, a rather happening one, across South America. Ofcourse, not to mention that Ernesto was a beautiful man and a beautiful man. I also want to travel the same way he did. But i doubt if I am that dauntless.

The dissertation on climate change is rearing it's ugly head yet again. Its amazing how it's still occupying me with occupying me much really. I mean, its not that I'm doing much about it, but it's also not that my mind is without fear and care. But I will definitely start doing something, something chunky and tangible.

Why I say, i'm living in different realities because home's a different world altogether. The paces change drastically. From a really fast and packed one to a really slow and crawling one, where you have just enough time to chill. Norms and reasons change. Zoo becomes suddenly too old for marriage at home and too young for it otherwise. Ideas of entertainment also change. Ideas of a good holiday changes. Ideas of the right time to wake up, eat, play, work and sleep change. What becomes important is to then reduce the distress caused by this immense sea of difference. That's the only how one can celebrate it.

Later

ecotrics and tennis!

The last few days, I've spent trying to understand a little bit of econometrics, heteroskedacity, t values, significance, multi-collinearity in regression equations etc. I can't say, I don't understand them, but the understanding to too temporary. Now that my classes have gotten over atleast for a while, i doubt if I will be able to remember everything that's been taught to me. That's the thing, with these subjects making so much demand on you, very intensive but then if you don't use it soon enough and thereafter keep using it, you disremember it also pretty soon.

Besides, it's just too much statistics I feel. I hope someone teaches that in one day, before I can do a leap-frog with the extremely complex things that are being taught.

But there is big problem in how they have structured our classes this year. All of us practically work in peaks and troughs. So it doesn't lead to the best productivity. So for the last few days, we've had some very serious blocks of lectures in the same subject, which I feel is very unhealthy because by the time the next block happens about 15 days from now, we'll have forgotten a lot. So we're playing hide-n-seek only.

Besides, a lot of different visiting faculty come and teach us the same subject, so the next teacher would have no idea what was taught in the last class, knowing not where to pick the thread from. So either it'll lead to repetition (it's not funny the number of times we've done TRP's and SEC's and psychographic and demographic segmentations, etc.), or a total disconnectedness from the previous lecture, which to my mind is very ineffective. Also if on a given day, you have 4 or 5 lectures on the same day, it leads to lethargy very soon.

Anyway, a little about the game of tennis. It doesn't need my pronouncing it a beautiful game ofcourse but lately it's caught my fancy quite considerably. Anyhow, I'll tell what happens when you're learning the game. First you hold the racquet, begin by bouncing the ball on the court, and hit with a skewed hand. Then it starts to dawn on you, that if you hand is skewed the the ball flies in all directions. Then you lob a lot, just a lot, sending balls left, right and centre, into the thickets and hedges, where reside a lot of snakes and frogs and ants, waiting to take revenge. But I just run, so I don't think they will ever be able to recognize me.

Ya so after you lob the ball a lot, all the while running around a lot, picking balls up, you realize that maybe it'll be a better idea for the shot to be more level. So you end up netting a lot of your balls. And the net is merciless. It attracts the balls. I don't think it knows what benefit of doubt is, so a shot, which you think is certainly going to reach the other half, will suddenly stop in mid-air to drop pat perpendicular on the net. Ya then, somehow, your balls don't lob so much and they don't land on the net so much, but the act still remains a lot, just a lot to be desired. Then you work on your swing, on the finish of the shot. The racquet comes from behind, and goes all the way up. That's the way, you channelize the power well. Anyhow, it's like an expert talking right? Hardly. But I might be an expert beginner you see, because I've played for 4 days, and i'm very excited, so is PK, my tennis-partner. By the way, for those who want to start, there is a fairly long teething time in tennis, so it's going to seem very silly playing for some time before the game starts to look like tennis.

Ya, so that was about ecotrics and tennis. I wanted to read also a little bit today, but the stupid vendor's not dropping papers only. I think he thinks, that my door's always locked, what's the point of putting papers. But that's the thing with newspaper vendors. They are completely faceless. It feels like magic sometimes, how as a child we got papers on time, everyday without fail. Come sunshine, rain or hail. (A poem :)) But as a child, in RK Puram, I also came to know about autumn because the huge tree in front of our house, always shed red-brown leaves and the tree would go naked for sometime, before fresh and small, glossy and thick green leaves started to make appearance again.

I'm going home tomorrow (listening and humming 'homeward bound'), and giving Micanvas a miss this time. I attended it last year, so this time I'll see how it feels to give it a miss :) Have a cornucopia of chores to perform tomorrow before I vacate my room to let some other people stay for Micanvas. My room's a sty, things strewn everywhere. I do have a to-do list, but it's me remember. That doesn't seem enough.

Later

what a joy!!

So, 20 blogs back I'd written how if i'm able to write this one, it's for keeps, it's for good. And so here I am writing my 21st. It's not just about 21 sounding like a good number. 21 is the number that ensues habit. Now i'm not sure if this has turned into a habit already, but I'm still quite proud of being able to do this.

Anyhow, I think enough has happened today to celebrate this. It's amazing how these days, I have no idea about what happens in the next one. How each day is a good degree different from the previous one. There is little I know about tomorrow except I have classes in Econometrics. Not that I know much about statistics, mathematics or even economic theory but Economics has interested me a great deal. Even though I have read no literature or seen no films for that interest. But I can say with confidence that when I read about it, I read it with rapt attention. But going from today's classes, my professor does keep everyone with him. So there's no apprehension about the subject.

I started to play tennis today. Because, our overused badminton court cannot multiply at the behest of the arrogant children, I have decided to divert attention to tennis in the peak hours. It's a beautiful game to watch, and online tennis or tennis over the phone is beautiful too, and less tiring. But since me and PK, began playing today, we would just pick balls and pick balls. However it really excited us if we were able to return balls once or twice. But more often than not, we would just lob and lob and send balls flying in all directions. But it was great fun to keep running around like a ball boy and playing tennis. Later in the night I also played Badminton with Tan. She's this amazing baddy player and plays some very strategically mind-blowing shots. But I beat her. Yes, I beat her. Which is quite incredible actually because I hadn't thought this coming. But there are some things that I came to realize about these sports.

a> No amount of running around the court can make up for a smart game. I mean, it's absolutely imperative to be all around the court and manage your opponent really smartly. so if you do run all the way up to hit your shot, it's quite a waste anyway because a smart opponent would then hit it at the back. It's not as crass as I just put it, but if one could refine it a little bit, it's true.

b> If you really want to get competitive and win a game, it's important to get a little tired. So I got absolutely bushed towards the game with Tan in badminton but I still loved to return the shuttle. It was one of the most fulfilling game I've played in a long time. Therefore also, like a SCAM says, singles really improve your game, which is so true, because I have totally paraded in and out of a court, at my own wish while playing with Mudili, because he was always there to back me up.

Anyhow, I had the Sankalp (theater) auditions also today. Not that they were a very important thing because it was horribly brief. I just had to say a few lines in Hindi. Nevertheless after a lot of weighing and thought did I even attempt it. Not that it means a lot because I'm a minnow in front of many brilliant thespian stalwarts in my college. Making it or not making is not even the question but just sitting on a chair on the stage in front of the directors and reading out the script was something I wouldn't not want to do. So when they asked me if I'd acted ever before, I said no-no never before.

Then, I read quite a bit. I read the paper for a bit and the Namesake for another bit. It was important because it's another of those things that I want to make a habit. Anyhow, I don't know how far I'll be able to continue because very soon, I'll be packed to home, packed to Indore. I have an option of staying back for Micanvas, MICA fest, which wasn't much to write home about, not for me atleast because I didn't participate much, looking at some new faces, experiencing some recitals and concerts and marvelling at the amount of action around you. The campus is abuzz with activity during the fest.

And I also have the option of taking off earlier and spare myself any work that all of us might be allotted for the fest. But chuck it. I think I'll just go home, spend time at home, fight with mom and dad a little bit, be bullied at the hands of Debo and meet some old friends. I'm past the age when students think that every piece of work that they do in a management fest, teaches them something for life and for professional life. I think where I'll finally end up learning is not here, but work itself, or maybe home a little bit, things which are more permanent and more real. In any case, I'm not a great believer in simulations, except when one is put through some really deep trauma or shake-up. :d i may have sounded extremely self-importantist actually. But it's not that bad.

And, a friend finally got drunk today. Ya ya it's news because he happens to be able to hold his drink. But ya, he slurred a little bit. I think, he must be fast asleep now. Ya, he must be. So i'll talk when he's up from the sound slumber.

Later

what a chilled day it was!

so I had a fairly lazy day today. I have lots of such days this year in college. Also because we have a bouquet of subjects to choose from in the second year, so when we don't have electives, and when we don't have that stupid albatross in the form of some dissertation deadline, the research proposal or defense or something, then we're usually chilling only.

I wrote a couple of important emails to some important people who could help me with stuff with my dissertation. They are people concerned with 'climate change in India'. I don't know how far they can help me, but I've still tried my bit. I do know though that they're very very passionate about climate agendas. I also am, but I like to rest and chill more I think.

So ya, according to my resolution of reading more, I tried to read but some unfortunate things happened. Like my paper didn't come today. So couldn't read that. I also couldn't read the book much because I was chilling with different people most of the day. And I wasn't talking about something that was going to affect our lives so much, but more about the smaller, more regular small talk.

Anyhow, then I played badminton. A rather good game it was. For sometime I did not have to think about all the politics and unfairness that we have to deal with on the court, but purely on the game. Every shot was very measured because me and Tan played with two really really strong players, who were also very competitive. So i don't think there was a lot of scope for casualty on court. But ya, that we kept in mind and played as best as we could. We still lost, after giving a really tough fight. But never mind that. In my college, people play baddy all the time. So one must see people fight at the peak hours, like they scramble in the local trains. They apply new logics and reasons why they should be allowed to play everyday. I think I maintain just one. Let me play, come what may :D kya poem hai.

Anyhow, I had some nice tea and snacks and since then have spoken to many people over the phone. I spoke to Minkie for sometime. We spoke for quite a bit, reminiscing about a lot of old times. We do that a lot . Talk about . But it's all a lot of fun, because invariably we discover new things that happened in school or sometime else around a highly-discussed event.
So ya, we spoke for quite a bit, thinking about what the near and the distant future might hold. That also is a lot of good fun because we come out with some brilliant theories and flaky possibilities which totally crease me.

Then I spoke to Zoo, with whom I discussed a lot of family and marriage blues. Lately I've increased the time I spend with her over the phone. We discuss o lot of things, including theater, life in Mumbai, new places to eat, new places to chill, new books to read, parents, places and marriage. And then I wished a friend happy birthday, who I have a feeling will stay up all night taking calls from people.

And while I am writing this, I can hear a lot of people totally larking about. On the left, from the courtyard and on the right, from the garden, people are just making lots of merry, because of the lack of work and classes tomorrow. I still have some work. I have to do some pre-reads for a couple of classes in the evening and afternoon. I have a script to read for some play audition for which I'm sure I'm going to founder completely. Actually I'm not the acting kinds. Nevertheless, let's give this one a shot too. So that's that. Au revoir.

Later

fulfilling- no not-so-out-of-ordinary day!

I had hoped that I start afresh, mark a new beginning today, which I sort of did. I read the papers for a bit then started reading a novel, which hopefully should keep me engaged for a while. I also read up a little more on my dissertation topic, and tomorrow without fail, i have to write to a few people who could help me find some communication techniques and tools around climate change symptoms, consequences and solutions in India.

I started reading 'the Namesake' by Jhumpa Lahiri and it is a rather interesting book so far. I have seen the movie and that seems very differently treated. But I have observed one thing, a book like a good song also can only grow on you. I mean only very few books of the very few books I have read in my life have a totally gripping, unputdownable sort of a beginning. Ofcourse it's only a matter of a few pages that it becomes much more wanted to be read.

Even the papers, that I started to read properly today. I feel I can hardly say and explain financial phenomenon about which I read to people, even though I'd read something on it only very recently. But I think it's also got to do with all these economical and political and financial or a combination of two or more of these things and issues. One would never know, what is the trigger and what is the consequence. Whether the price is affecting the demand or vice-versa. On top of that there are a plethora of sentiments and a hundred theories that people come out with. On top of that, there are all these stupid jargons such as equity, sub-prime crises, mortgage, repo rate and the reverse of it, CRR, appreciation and depreciation of currency and one just doesn't know what is a result of what or what precedes or follows what. Ofcourse a lot of times, it's a vicious circle and everything affects everything else. I'm sorry for being vague, but i'm that because my understanding of these vague things is vague.

Ya, so then I helped some of these alumni committee guys with a little work they had. I did that with a heavy heart because I wanted to spend my afternoon doing a lot of different things. But I think one of God's eyes registered it, and I should be rewarded. It won't be unnoticed or unrewarded or wasted I'm sure. But I don't think my god believes in 'fal for karm'. Atleast that's his excuse for getting much work and dispensing fewer rewards. But I shouldn't be saying this, because I'm eternally thankful to him for giving me these beautiful days. And I don't think I should complain anyway. It's not like I do a lot of work with or without any appreciation. For the fear of not getting any, I don't keep working only. But anyhow, I worked for them through the evening, playing badminton for a bit, came back, had just started to read when Nerdy came and pulled me to our favourite Italian restaurant Upper Crust in Ahmedabad.

It is one of the more liked, small little place that serves very very nice, appetizing, filling platters of authentic Italian food. I go there every now and then when I want to eat really well, take adventurous gastronomic trips, and spend a lot. One would wonder if anyone would like to do the latter. But believe me we go there with full knowing that we would be much worse-off after eating there. Nevertheless I go there and totally eat my organs out. I got some packed and I think I should go there after finishing this and eat the rest of my fill.

While we came back in an auto from the place, we listened to these loud, dancy numbers and we totally wanted to party. I think that when we're in the groove, we begin to love everything we like and hate everything we dislike. But ya that's what this kind of groove does to you, it makes you party and party.

I'm already really really sleepy and I must really really sleep. That reminds me of a famous quote, when a certain someone said- 'Sleep na. You should really sleep. How can you not want to sleep? Imagine you're in an auto and just sleep.' And so here I'm imagining im in one, and here I go with the hope that oh my dear god gave me another fulfilling day tomorrow.

Later